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False Ego - Golden lyrics

Goblin, golden, stuck on repeat
I started writin 50 verses, like 16 a piece
I calmed down, cooled off in the moment of heat
The pain came so natural like words and a beat
Now I'm sittin with my friends and playin it off
My brother asked me what's the matter when hearing my songs
Now I'm sittin all alone cuz I'm missin my mom
How could I be so suicidal but lookin so calm
No one would listen to me
I'm tryna tell my story, just in a lyrical piece
Now my haters dissin cuz they ain't fuckin with these
But I don't really care cuz you fuckers won't listen to me
Well thats fine
Cuz it's all in my head
Now it's fuckin up my mind like couples in bed
When alone
Eyes glued to my wall
Waitin for a text message like lottery calls
I don't talk cuz my music is sayin it all
Tryna play it off cuz the music was turnin me on
But these kids won't listen, they hatin my songs
Just because I'm different and I don't have a dad or a mom
I'm makin true raps about my life
And I really don't wana have to lie
But people only like you if you crazy or hood
It's a shame you only like it cuz your friends say you should

I changed a lot, ever since I made blessed
After mom died I used to wear a cross on my neck
I held that cross to my chest, I even wore it to bed
I miss her so much, I can't believe that she's dead
Then my sis took me in
[Lyrics from: https:/lyrics.az/false-ego/-/golden.html]
I wanted my life to end
But little did I know it was about to begin
And I hate that we argue
Ur like a mom so it's awkward
I started hatin that too
But I love you

I couldn't do it alone
My aunt and uncle put us all in a home
My brother went off to college and he lived on his own
If you think he didn't care then your horribly wrong
Because the bond that we have is credibly strong
And the story goes on
I started writin everyday so the story is long
I wana be inspiration for people like me
I don't want these people to just like me for lyrics and beats
Please
I'm just speaking aloud
I keep my songs to myself, your just hearin the sound
I keep my feelin in, they ain't hearin me out
I'm sorry if I'm rantin, you're hearing me pout

I'm just tryna be myself
Never lettin go to what's real
No matter what they tell me
I'll never let go on how I feel
This music, the art
I'll never lose sight of what I see
I'll never forfeit what is meant to be
I'll never lose sight of what I see
I'll never lose sight of what i see cuz
What i see is me

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