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False Ego - Calabasas lyrics

I was just sitting here thinking bout
If in actuality I'm missing out
On all the things I tell myself that I don't give a shit about
The things it seems other people my age can't really live without
While I stare at my wall using my faith to fight my fear and doubt
Clearing out, all the useless thoughts that clutter up my mind
Convincing myself I'll enjoy my life some other time
Realizing nothing's fine, guess I got some stuff to find out
I feel like I'm in a fuckin time out
I can't stand the way I'm living and it's killing - - me
I saw the dream but there's a bunch of parts I didn't -- see
I'm scared to fail and I try not to let it get to -- me
Been through some shit and I can't explain what it did to--me
All I know fasho is there ain't really shit I know fasho;
People love you when an audience is watching that's for show;
Writing stories on the ground, they been plottin on the low;
&& when they got me it got hard to be the guy I was before;
I don't think anythings as tough as forgiving people for real;
Back stabbers never wait for your lacerations to heal;
It's hard to decode emotions you never thought you would feel;
Now I kind of understand why people drink or pop a pill;
Still I'm just so obsessed with making it back to Naples or Calabassas;
That I'll take whatever lashes the fact is whatever factors;
Into winning will be done I swear I'm so sick of talking bout it;
&& love is light I'm in the dark without it;
I just made a promise to Brooklyn Savalli I want to embody;
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If I die before I get to meet Marshall sweetie I'm sorry;
I'm hardly ever concerned with other peoples concerns;
Now that I literally learned, trust and loyalty are earned;
People don't be who they say they are, wanted them to pipe down;
They ain't tryna hear it so I listen with my eyes now;
Far from where I started as a child writing rhymes down;
Now I'm just expressing all the timeless lessons I've found;
Check I remember hope had warned me in duress;
I ain't listen consequently when she scorned me in a text;
I ain't know how misinformed I was about who I was next;
To and so I may as well as slipped a noose around my neck;
Plus This was right when rebel passed I had so much stuff to deal with;
So when my grandma died I could barely even feel shit;
Grandpa died just before her and I look to my mom;
Struggling but staying strong what the fuck is goin on;

Everything ain't well no more;
Who are you I can't tell no more?;
Is it me or am I really this alone now;
Done trying to play it safe I'm leaving home now ;

I think id rather risk a snake bite, than trying to live a safe life;
Accepting the fact that some things aren't meant to be made right;
The pendulums of pain & joy are truthfully what make life;
Pain is no excuse to waste life..right?;

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