Eternia - Final Offering lyrics

Woke up with this track in my head, I got the itch again I missed the bus ‘cause I was bumpin' this, I won't pretend Been through a couple of my 9 lives since we last met Here's hopin' Cole and Kendrick understand I gotta vent I gotta pen I gotta head full of convoluted cloudy days, let it rain Let it sting the conscious of those who went on inflicting pain Then pretended they were not to blame See, I could name names But that'd be acting cowardly, that's not my lane Me?! I am not the victim, see I am just in misery Laying down and catching fleas That's my responsibility Life was on a spin cycle downwards, God lifted me, though So I feel guilty when I don't have grateful energy Oh Lord I'm supposed to feel your love and feel fulfilled in theory But this hamster wheel has got me trapped and I'm sincerely weary of it all Words don't move me, they used to, now all I hear is a God! Don't let ‘em get to me, please I feel the war on my spirit I feel the devil whispering and your retreat Sweet nothing's in my ear I'm open Then I go out and pick the option that is self-destructive He f**in' loves it I got dudes in different country codes, pick up the phone I'm packing, now I'm not alone, but more alone than ever That's the path I'm on Feelin' like those that compliment me never knew me And once they do then they gone Show me a time I'm wrong I pretty much got this figured out God's power works for some, for others' it's just something cool to rap about, so Before you point your finger I got my own pointed at my dome that's on the trigger Ha, see you later Yours is redundant, f** it Enjoy your life Now I'm cursing, this verse is clearly regressing Mother forgive me, won't ya I didn't write the verse you want me to Didn't get inspired by the Holy Ghost to make it something you would do I let you down clearly But if you had to cut me off in Jesus' name Then you would do it swiftly, with no questions, quickly So I got nothing to lose that I ain't lost already Abandonment is nothing new to me, I've been there many Times before 'til it became a normal part of living Close the door on me, I'm climbing through that windowsill and grinning I wrote this all on the TTC while my thoughts was spinning Grandma praying that a faint flame He won't extinguish Well, I'm runnin' outta options He might be sick of me I got a history of runnin' backwards towards all my problems Don't think this track will solve ‘em But still I have to write ‘em like my life depended on ‘em This is my final offering