Erin Anastasia - Six Ways To Survive A s**y Job lyrics

"Six Ways to Survive a s**y Job" Give everyone in the office a nickname But never tell them what it is Keep it as an inside joke between you and yourself The more exclusive a joke, the funnier it is Smile to yourself when James Bond rounds the corner like he's got a gun inside of that briefcase Bite your tongue on the day Velma actually loses her gla**es. 2. If there's an elevator, always take the elevator. If you catch yourself alone in the elevator, dance like a drunken aunt at a sweet sixteen and stare directly into the security camera. Imagine that somewhere in the building, there is a tubby man in a blue uniform, sitting in a dark room and shaking his head at you. 3. Go to the store. Pick up pens in your favorite color, unless your favorite color is yellow, or white, Then just get pens in your second favorite color, Take notes and write to-do lists and watch your hands turn into child hands 4. Decorate your cubicle with Photos of friends Or pictures of places not here Or maybe just buy a bunch of those fuzzy color-in posters and use it as wallpaper There are ways to turn any beige into a rainbow. 5. Stalk. Everyone. All of those folders you have access to? Snoop through them. Feel like you're looking at p**n when your parents aren't home. Peek at photos of the company's trip last year to the ranch. Now you know what your boss looks like while sitting on a horse. When your boss talks down to you, imagine her high up, like she's sitting on a horse. 6. Bubble wrap. You know where it is. Wait until most of the office is out at lunch. Saunter into the mailroom, act surprised, like oh, hey bubble wrap, I didn't expect to find you here, And then pop that sh**! Pop all of that sh** And tomorrow, when f**ing Kevin tries to mail a box of books and leans his head out of the mail room and asks What happened to the bubble wrap? Take out a purple pen, and write on your Lisa Frank notepad these three words: f** you Kevin. Don't show anyone, The more exclusive an insult, The funnier it is. Everyone has to go to work. And some jobs s** But all jobs s** less than how much being broke s**s So… s** it up! Find miniscule ways to fight the man every day Find moments and bullsh** reasons to put a smile on your face. Maybe your job doesn't matter, but your heart still does, So make yourself happy, In any dumb, irrelevant, childish way that you can. It's the only way to survive.