Eric Schwartz - Telltale Kitchen lyrics

The banana?s lookin? brown except for where I left that sticker And the spice rack is empty ?cept for cinnamon, salt and pepper The tea in the jar is ten years old, Lemon Lint and Chamomold And the coffeepot is stickin? to the maker, Which is stickin? to the counter Soup-can sentinels guard the pre-colonial cupboard With hibernating honey, tins of tuna and cardboard crackers And now the brand new honey with the angel face Wants to come over and see my place And chewin? on a grape slash raisin I mull it over But I know it would k** the deal If she saw my Achilles? heel Telltale Kitchen If you want her to stay you best keep her away Telltale kitchen Telltale kitchen The microwave is broken The smoke detector?s smokin? Telltale kitchen Over in the fridge the mustard, catsup, mayonnaise and bu*ter Have formed an uncanny resemblance to each other And the prehistoric bagels in the bag in the back Are hiding from the dairy on the d**h row rack As the fish flavored iceberg spawns upstream in the freezer You would think that the sink wouldn?t stink 'cause it looks like it?s hardly been used But who knows what grows in the disposal After years of beers half drunk get dumped And no-one?s fixin? the water pump Telltale Kitchen If you want her to stay you best keep her away Telltale Kitchen Telltale Kitchen If you are what you eat I?m maggoty meat Telltale Kitchen The blender?s on a bender fermenting the remainder Of a porridge of origin too ancient to remember But mercifully the rubber cap is permanently stuck there So the substrate self-perpetuates ad-nauseinfinitum My ego is an ego sequestered in the freezer Like an Eskimo they leggo for bein? a grumpy geezer And the trough-full of drosophila a**aulting the falafel Make the Amityville horde look like a hospital ward Telltale kitchen If you want her to stay you best keep her away Telltale kitchen Telltale kitchen The garbage had grown A bouquet of its own Telltale kitchen