[Verse 1] Poor Pete is a bit self conscious And he thinks that he's a vampire He gets into his off white Saturn And heads into the suburbs [Verse 2] He looks at himself in the mirror Like a girl putting makeup on He wants to buy a brand new pair of teeth But they don't accept coupons [Chorus] Is this gonna be the night that His daily horoscope comes true? He knows Venus is in retrograde But not if the moon is new [Verse 3] Poor Pete isn't fashion forward But he likes to think he's ultra cool He winks at a girl named Siouxsie While she's playing bumper pool [Verse 4] She looks at him rather blankly Before mouthing the words, "Yeah, right" She knows poor Pete's not the kind of guy Who will ever get it right [Chorus] So this isn't gonna be the night that His daily horoscope comes true He knows Venus is in retrograde But not if the moon is new [Chorus] So this isn't gonna be the night that His daily horoscope comes true He knows Venus is in retrograde But not if the moon is new