Epic Rap Battles of History - Lewis and Clark vs Bill & Ted lyrics

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! LEWIS AND CLARK! VERSUS! BILL AND TED! BEGIN! [Lewis and Clark] You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park And give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts Showing exactly where our footprints on their bu*tocks are marked We're two travelling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace And we'll own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase! You're worthless. Your future selves should've told you that Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels Rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks and eagles And plus flora galore! And according to our observations These two dickweeds right here are severely endangered We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far You inspired air guitar and Dude, Where's My Car? We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature So step off, but tell Bill's stepmom "don't be a stranger" [Bill and Ted] Bill's mom is hot, but that joke was most heinous I've heard better insults dropped from Socrates' an*s That's my stepmom, Ted Let's keep it excellent between us And show these boy scouts how it goes in San Dimas We're quick when we spit like Billy the Kid with his guns And you'll be verbally kicked in the nut-Sacagawea-puns A teen mom carried you and your troops They should've let the baby lead, and put you in the papoose And if those native dudes knew what white dudes were gonna do They woulda stopped you in Dakota They should totally Sioux Why don't you go back to exploring Napoleon's old swamps Or you'll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped [Lewis and Clark] Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl I'll take Neo. I'll take the one that no one knows at all From the Falls of Black Eagle to the Pacific We put the 'dis' in dysentery cause we spit sick Without Rufus you'd be useless on all the trails we blazed You couldn't navigate your way out of a Circle K Send over Garth and Wayne, because you turkeys aren't worthy Suffering your raps is a most bogus journey [Bill and Ted] Man, they totally burned us. I feel like such a doofus What do we do? I don't know [Rufus] Be Excellent [Bill and Ted] Rufus! He's right, dude. We don't have to take this kind of abuse From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes You rode a river one direction; we travelled four dimensions Rescued bodacious babes, and get back for detention I've seen your future, Mr. Lewis and I don't wanna be rude But spoiler alert: You totally k** yourself, dude So we offer you peace with these resplendent medallions And we claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC! *Grizzly bear growls* Huh? *Bear continues to growl* Eh... RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!