Shigeru Miyamoto: It's game time, son; I best not hear you Far Cry Why don't you make a good game and put down the fries? Lets a go like Mario, even Valve fanboys think I'm awesome Your s** life is like your games, it will never see a threesome! My eyes may be squinted, but you're losing from what I can see! I'm so rich off this sh**, I have my own damn Monopoly! I'm the father of gaming, you're a Tick Tock Clock Ticker Your games are so boring, I'd rather play Cookie Clicker You are so fat and slow, everything you do gets delayed The amount of meme pictures isn't half the size of your weight You've walked right into your Doom, winning will take more than luck My game was art in your eyes? Well, I don't give a Fuch! Gabe Newell: Let me explain the true meaning behind your little Wii Winning is impossible, when rapping against me You think you're in Heaven's Hands, up with the stars? I'm surprised that terrible graphics could get you that far I'll chop you in half, just like my Steam game prices Counter Strike you with rhyme, crush you like your handheld devices Wii U and GameCube? I'd rather play a PlayStation Crushing your Super Smash Balls as I score a domination You lost the console war; you have no chance in this fight You're a mistake like those let's play copyright strikes I've seen better graphics on an old Tamagotchi Prepare to die, Shiggy, just like Hiroshi Yamauchi Shigeru Miyamoto: Oh please; I bet you have Smash Bros. 4 on your wishlist Let's turn off the Valve; it's Mario time, b**hes! Super Mario: Itsa-me; the true video game superstar Nintendo's been on top since we were making playing cards Just like Surgeon Simulator, you'll be cut up dead What kind of mascot is a bald guy with a faucet in his head? We'll throw a Mario Party in celebration of your defeat This battle is as pointless as the Year of Luigi Gabe Newell: MEDIC! Come and give my rhymes an Ubercharge It's time to change cla** and show this loser who we are Scout: I'm about to slash and gash this Japanese dude's a** The greatest first-person shooter while you're trying to bu*ton mash Just get the int-hell outta here or deal with my Sandman I'll wear your a** like a hat, crush you like a Bonk! can I've got inventories of weapons and millions of tricks I'm the motherf**ing Scout, you're just 8-bit pricks! Shigeru Miyamoto: You have no Nintendo Power, yet you think you're a Game Master? I'll flame you up, Goomba stomp and shoot my Nintendo Zapper So prepare to wither and die like the Great Deku Tree TF2 was so awful, you had to make it free Gabe Newell: It's taking me a while to make Half Life 3, yes But at least I'm not trying to sell a failed 2DS You even said yourself, delayed games are eventually better But in your case, they'll all just be bad forever