Epic rap battle parodies - Eyeless jack vs laughing jack lyrics

Eyeless Jack: It's Eyeless Jack here, and I'm back for revenge I'll murder all these verses like I did to all my friends I'll blister this mister jester, you're nothing but a cloud wisp I couldn't stand to see your story, and I'm absolutely Eyeless Now I'll wear my mask again like it was a masquerade Better quit your laughing, cause I'm about to jack your fame! My flows are darker than the void in my heart and eyes Even with your clown cousin, Ronald, victory would still be mine! Laughing Jack: All around the mulberry bush, the clown chased the blind man With a weird eating disorder, dude, stop eating those hands! I'm going ham, squeezing your a** until Pop Goes the Weasel I'll maniacally take you down, eyeless man, I'm pure evil! I bring pain! You'll go insane just like my playmate Isaac Before you get kicked, smacked with a brick, and a mouthful of ticks! You see how dope I'm flowing? Oops! I guess not I'll break to your home, trash your rooms, and leave a dead dog! Eyeless Jack: This Dumbo given by angels' about to get back some pain I'll end you harder than that little kid you maimed, remember James? You're dressed as an emo mime, while I've got vicious battle rap attacks Cut you no slack, I'm making a comeback, you'll remember Eyeless Jack! Laughing Jack: I may be a clown, but this time I'm not joking It'll be a pleasure to nail you to the wall and cut you wide open I'm dispersing these rhymes so hot, they'll make you descend Why don't you leave this battle now and go jack off to BEN? The Observer: It's the Observer, hacking into this war between two fools You b**hes never learn, but I'm gonna leave you two schooled I've been observing, I'll leave you burning, before this next rhyme And I be swervin', even murdering your tribes twelve times You could never find me with these bombs that I'm dropping Trying to fight me is useless, I'll always be forever watching Okay, you two. Let's see what today we've learned How many Jacks does it take to know you cannot defeat the observer Just like my friend, Noah, I'll leave your brain melting I interrupted your verses, because I found them repelling Your souls will be mine after I have a feast on your a**es None of you punks are even prepared for when I take off my gla**es Ticci Toby: They call me Ticci Toby, not like you'd care that much Once I'm done talking to myself, I'll blow steam on you punks You think you are creepy? This twitching kid don't give two sh**s I'll k** you all off and feed you to the ticks Stop acting like you're hot when you're colder than the rain How can you damage me? I'm f**ing immune to all pain Don't even try to diss me or your life will be at stake You picking on the retarded kids is the last mistake you'll ever make Herobrine: Herobrine has joined to disconnect you from your dicks I'm pulling out my diamond sword to leave all of your throats slit You two Jack-offs should just piss off, you'll experience your End with me And all I can Observe from this anti-social brat is an Enderman wannabe! Please, these cheesy teases of terror should've known they can't take this I'll cause heart attacks, nightmares, d**h, and do it all in 8 bits! Don't try to take on my blank eyes, this Swede'll be the last contender Wherever you're suffering you'll know I'll be watching in the Short Render (Voices): ♪ Don't turn on the lights during the Midnight Game Do not use a flashlight during the Midnight Game Do not go to sleep, during the Midnight Game And don't attempt to use another's blood for your name ♪ The Midnight Man: If you think you're gonna beat me, you're lost in your dreams Purifying crappypastas like you is just ritual for me Walk your little game, Herobrine, I bask in the tears of the damned I'm an embodiment of faith, your fate's in my hands! Take a blood sample, make a case of the proxy behind the screen You can't see I'll be cackling at the d**hs of these teens Until the clock strikes twelve, you're in my realm, no escape Darkness you can't handle, light your candle, pray for the day! Richard Van Buren: Are you feeling lonely? Then come visit my site I'm not afraid of two Jacks, an observer and Midnight I'm as crazy as an ape on this track, just check the links You'll find more than you bargained for when you come for the kinx! I'll perform a seance to tell this moose that he's just useless Any attack from a hack and his Jacked friends on me is fruitless! When you find my site, you'll be tongue tied, like when I rap and dis This staticy kid's so lonely, I bet he would try and fap to this! Intercom: (Talking) SCP'S 106 AND 087 HAVE ESCAPED, KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR BOTH... SCP-087: Welcome to the never-ending staircase of Hell SCP-106: Once I'm released from my cell, you know your lives won't end well SCP-087: There's no lights, so you're in for a treat SCP-106: We're most uncontainable freaks since 173! SCP-087: There's a baby down here, don't you want him to be safe? SCP-106: Then get the mics outta those faces, I'm Radically insane! SCP-087: Ready to see my real face? Come near us if you dare SCP-087 & SCP-106: We'll be waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs The Rake: Your rhymes are as tedious as your never-ending staircase And you so called creepypastas are such a waste of space Watch me munch on these monsters like I munch on sick rhymes I'm The Rake, b**hes, great b**hes, haunting through time I've been around for so many centuries, now making these SCPs history I've been trapped after d**h, but I'm breaking free, and no one will figure out my mystery My feet will keep crawling and my rhymes will keep flowing Just like my internet fame, my mouth will keep growing Candle Cove: Skin Taker: Light the candle on this Candle Cove, Skin Taker has arrived! I want you to scream in my studio, so go inside I've been investigated by tons, you're the Laughingstock of me Don't touch your remote yet, ‘cause here's Pirate Percy! Pirate Percy: It's Pirate Percy, maties, no way you'll get through me I'll make you scream as soon as I exit your TV screen I'll be laughing at this jacka** while making the rest of you suffer Because a battle is no place for you already dead landlubbers! Horace Horrible: It's clear that we've entered a hostile environment So allow the man in top hat to teach you about violence Just takes a slash of the throat and d**h ensues children Just like the lost treasure, you'll never be seen again BOB: Once you hear the sound of gla** shattering downstairs You've known that you are in for a true frightening scare I'm the Creature, I'm your teacher, so get ready to stop You guys are gonna die when you meet the eyes of BOB I might have no arms but I'll still slam you till you're dead You'll see me through the space of the curtains when you're in your bed This is your final warning, there is no way to harm me Online wimps like yourselves would think I needed an Army The Grey Man: Time to go to sleep, you freak, you'll never escape You hide in labs and forests while I haunt the Dreamscape! Pray your d**h comes quick when you see me in the distance I'll paint a Rake and his armless mate all over the Violence District! None of Slendy's proxies or you SCP's could scare me You hear me? Puppets and atwisted Ron Jeremy Midnight's worse than Twilight, leave this square dismembered You've seen the man I am, still want to remember? UBOA: I'd rather not remember, your face is ugly as sin Now let's turn out the lights because the fun shall begin! I'm known as an NPC but I have spawned many stories And this stalker must be high if he thinks he's got all the glory Don't even think about touching me, I'll send your a** to the Desert I'll let out these screams and make sure you all get severed There's Snow way out of this, can't get away with your bike Pinch yourselves now, for I have taken over your lives! Polybius: Oh, all of these tripping creepypastas are making me sick Just like my game, I'll chop you up into 8 bits We got a guy without arms and a little masquerade All of you will be doomed when you step in my arcade I'll break you like a rake, leave you all to your demise I covered up the kids I k**ed with Secrets and Lies I kick it old school, and I'm gonna be your teacher I'm shaking down this battle, so get ready to have a seizure BRVR: I'll never love you all, stop interfering my channels Just let me catch you all and light you up like the Midnight Man's candles I don't need any love from all of you f*ggots who haven't won I have no hard feelings, especially when you all are done You b**hes are the big reason on why I want to die I'm charging up, so make sure you run away and hide I know when you're lying to me, so prepare for shock attack JUST LEAVE ME THE fu*k ALONE! I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME BACK!!! Happy Appy: Hello children! Welcome to this episode of Happy Appy I'm friendly, I'm fruity, but I'm also feeling snappy I may have got banned from Nick Jr, but I'm still standing strong With how much this rodent obsesses, it's like he wants his owner's schlong Now everybody calm down, because the violence is building Let's broadcast these slaughters, cause that's natural, children Well, let's conclude this episode, I had fun with you all See you all next time, in the afterlife hall! Luna Game: Luna: You'll hear the trotting of your doom, the galloping of your d**h soon Except this time it ain't a game, I'll be the princess of a Blood Moon! It's the queen that leaves even Pinkamena scared to d**h Let's see you try to clop after witnessing this JPEG! Creepybloom: Prepare to be kicked to the desktop, here comes Creepybloom It won't take five games to turn this loon into Happy Appy-juice! My rhymes will buck you hard, haunt you Equestria Daily You'll be spammed and deleted cause The End is Neigh! Sally: I'm a sad girl trapped inside this wreck of a home Don't even go near me, just turn around and go Wanna play a game? A game called hide-and-go-seek? I'll drown you in depression and we shall go to sleep I'm living in my pond of my really wet tears Can you please get out? I want some alone time here I want to live my dreams, getting crossed like a tally You monsters lost against the lonely, depressed Sally MARIO: Let's-a go bro! Go on ahead and open the file This game has just begun, so you'll be here for a while My story's actually true, so that means I can take on you The JPEG will make you have the chills when you're crying in your room This is the selfish way out, let your true king take this When Yoshi takes over your life, you will never be truly missed Welcome to the Yellow Switch Palace, you'll never be free So let's play a game of hide and seek, TRY TO FIND ME! Dead Bart: Try to find you? You'll be under the sink With your plumbers crack showing for everyone to see I left Matt Groening crying and shaking like a little girl Until he was too scared to mention me to the rest of the world You try to act tough, but face the facts Your princess is with Bowser and she ain't ever coming back You try to change the channel but I'll hide the remote-o And rain Grey Man's grey matter on the streets of Kyoto! Sonic FEAR: Tails Doll: The Number One k**er doll is here, let me tell you a tale How I beat all of you creepy wannabe fails Can you feel the sunshine? Because I'll stab you where it doesn't I'll be piling all of your bodies, dozen by the dozen You can try to unlock me, but none of you will get far My telekinetic abilities will attack once you play Sonic R I'd love to stay and play, but I need more kids to meet me Let me bring in the second player, Sonic.exe Sonic.exe: This is the end, little fakers, yes, it ends today And now I'm gonna kick your a** the evil hedgehog way You can't escape, can't get away, you little Jack Baybays I'm gonna laugh at you and scare you away My eyes bleed red but you're all gonna be dead Cause when I catch up to you, I'm gonna rip off your heads All your stories are flawed, all flagged for fraud One more thing... I AM GOD! WHO WAS PHONE?: Who was I? Well, I was mother freaking phone Will you shut the crap up? I am mad at your tone You're all Jeff rip-offs, so you can s** my Slender dick Herobrine, I'll kick you out like it was a Sparta kick Who was phone, coming in fast You'll need a cast like DarkLink's a** Talk about being God your economy is high You and Tails Doll are gay mates who need high fives Drop dead, because you s** If you dislike this battle, I dont give a duck Yo, Rake, your nipples are ice cream cones Wait a second. Wait, WHO WAS PHONE?!?!?!?! Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv: I'll take your lives when I look you dead in the eye You'll be screaming before you can even subscribe You know you're f**ed when you face Glesgorv Before you know it, all your sanity will be absorbed Who was Phone? Who gives a sh**? You're a mess! I'm the best of the best, you won't ever find success My stare alone sends shivers into grown ups and kids I bring terror to the 'Tube, like User 666! Russian Sleep Experiment: Enough, Byron, your code's already been cracked With these lines I've got packed yours just look whack! Let's try a little experiment, in the end you'll break! Cause you will never sleep when my rhymes keep you awake! I'll just gas you with my disses, so don't be having paranoia It'll take less than 30 days for me to verbally destroy ya! I am in the madness within you all! And with that you got beat! I'll leave you in such a state you no longer want to be freed! Habit: Knock, knock, who's there? Must be the rabbit, call me HABIT I'm nailing every one of you Crappypastas in only one little casket None of you can stop me for it is I who inHABITS this sanctuary CanYouSeeTheWords on what I'm writing? Cause it's about to get scary! I possess people turning them into the world's greatest k**ers and villains You're just restless skeletons messing with the Happy Puppet children! I've driven EverymanHYBRID mad with Slender Man on my side I AM MANKIND'S BAD HABIT, YOU ALL HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE! Squidward's Suicide: Barnacle heads, be quiet, while I work on my art! You call yourselves creepypastas but you lack the creepy part Bunnicula's efforts to be frightening will all be in vain You can say what you want, I went out like Kurt Cobain! Be gone, just DO IT! Spit an improper diss, I'll SHOOT IT! I blasted a fantastic symphony that night, and THEY KNEW IT! I'm playing a deadly melody even when I'm deceased! This battle's reached it's sonata, and I can rest in peace Suicidemouse.avi: No, I'm not having it, just watch my clip and it'll make you die Horror, scariness, and darkness all packed inside an terrifying .avi You overdosed on Krabby Patties, you're nothing but lost hope Wanna see my head come off? Let me just grab my rope! Abandoned by Disney: *chokes* Now. You're just an attraction here, while I'm the big deal! Rhymes so unreal they'll reveal that you'll kneel and squeal I made Disney sh** his pants yet you think your sk** is odd? Don't need to run from me, YOU'RE ALREADY ABANDONED BY GOD!! Evil Otto: I've been summoned to battle all these cheesy whining hacks You sent chills down people's spines? I gave children heart attacks You copypastas can't scare me, I leave the bodies piling Go ahead and throw your disses, I'll just keep on smiling! When I'm seen, even the toughest can't help but faint! I'm scarier than you pussies and I can be drawn in MS Paint! Been making kids go Berzerk, these 43 pixels are lethal! Game over, motherf**ers, you've met with the face of true evil