Eminem - Intro (slim Shady) lyrics

may i have your attention please May i have your attention please Will the real slim shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here... {verse 1} Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like pam like tommy just burst in the door Started whoopin her a** worst than before They first were dirvorced sold her old furniture (scream) It's the return of the "awww wait, no way, your kidding He didn't just say what i think he did, did he?" And dr dre said... Nothing you idiots dr dre's dead he's locked in my basement (haha) Feminist women loved eminem Chicka chicka chicka slim shady i'm sick of him Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what Flippin' the you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though) Yeah i probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than whats going on in your parents bedrooms Sometimes i wanna get on tv and let loose, But can't, but it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose "my bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips And if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss" And that's the messege we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a women's *vagina* is Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit 4th grade, They got the discovery channel don't they? We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals Who *rip* other people open like canolopes But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then theres no reason that a man and another man can't elope (ughh) But if you feel like i feel i got the antadoite Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus And it gooooesss (refrain) I'm slim shady Yes i'm the real shady All you other slim shadys are just imitating So won't the real slim shady... Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up Cause i'm slim shady Yes i'm the real shady All you other slim shadys are just imitating So won't the real slim shady... Please stand up, please stand up, please stand up {verse 2} Will smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Well i do, so *f---* him and *f---* you too You think i give a damn about a grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me (but slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?) Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here? So you can sit me here next to britney spears S--- christina aguilera better switch me chairs So i can sit next to carson daily and fred durst And hear them argue over who she gave *head* to first Little *b**h* put me on blast on mtv (yea hes cute but i think he's married to kim, hehe) I should download a audio on mp3 And show the whole world how you gave eminem *head* (scream) I'm sick of you little golden boy groups all you do is annoy me So i been sent in here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me Who just don't give a *f---* like me Who dress like me Walk, talk and act like me It just might be the next best thing But not quite me (refrain) {verse 3} I'm like a headtrip to listen to Cause i'm only giving you Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is i got the balls to say it in front of ya'll And i don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all I just get on the mic and spit it Wheather you like to admit it I'm better than 90% of you rappers out there Then you wanna outkin kids like these albums like Its funny cuz the rate im going when i'm 30 I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting Pinching nurses a**es when i'm *hard* jerkin i'm jerking But this whole bag of viagra isn't working And every single person is a slim shady lurkin He could be workin at burger king spitten on your onion rings Were in the parking lot circling Screaming i don't give a *f---* With his windows down and system up So will the real shady, please stand up And put one of those fingers on each hand up And to be proud to out of your mind and out of control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? Ha ha Guess there's a slim shady in all of us f** it, let's all stand up