El-P - The Now lyrics

[Verse 1] Daddy's got a new life now A new daughter and a new male child A new swagger with some real style New car, new house, brand-new spouse Little sh**ty dog named Klaus New smile on his mouth Wouldn't say that we're forgotten, 'cause we developed a plan Once a month, he takes the time to hang with his old fam Half a day to let you know he still cares and such You won't grow apart too much from being out of touch But he wasn't there for him on the daily, yeah, the basis In order to drop j**els like, "Stay clear of the racists" Heavy promises became weightless Sincerity became fakeness He's praying for his heart to ache less Time is pa**ing by, yet his scars remain ageless He called him on the phone to say, pops This'll take just a minute of your time But his wishes were declined By the disenchanted tone at the end of the line Hang up, try to look strong in front of mom Back up, John, stop looking forward to the day you're gonna see him on Now you're eye to eye and you receive an embrace From a lost heart that's pumping blood up to a guilty face He's gonna try to find ways to make up for the last twenty-nine days Or was it thirty? I think he heard me In situations like this, his speech becomes wordy He's got a hundred million ways to tell me not to worry But this time, I wasn't hanging on his every sentence Ears crippled by the pain of negligence or was it vengeance? He spoke, I couldn't hear a word, I zoned, it looked like I observed My only thoughts were missing out on love that I deserved Trying to convince myself I'm weak within the mental But silence breaks, because a father's guidance is essential He's lookin' down with a smile Saying, in the future, we'll be great pals Yeah, dad, but what about the now? Johnny, come and leave ya dad alone now Yeah, it's just you and momma now Stop the crying now Just try to smile now Try to think of other things now Momma's got another date now You can get through all the anger and the hate now Calm down and wipe your face now I know it seems to be hard but I promise you, we'll make it through somehow [Scratches: "And now"] [Verse 2] Little girl, their firstborn, their sunshine Never gonna lead her wrong, get it right one time Here's how it goes She's off to school then dancing on her toes At an hour-long ballet cla** Then on to the piano Two hours of repetition Emulating cla**ic music compositions Do your homework with precision By nine o'clock, she collapses in a heap of dizziness But sleep so tomorrow you'll repeat your busyness She got straight A's and spoke of her stress But her Maydays were drowned out by the melees Of mom and dad trying to blame each other different ways She'd stop and gaze Thinkin' how it drives her crazy when their voices raise This dilemma ruins most of her days From her, perfection was expected And it's hectic working hard without receiving any praise At night, she cries where she lays Then she wakes up, washes up, smiles and goes along like it's okay On to high school There's more intensity within her cycle She's making all the guys drool Here come the extra tight rules No mates, not with college on the plate Practice hard, study hard, steady focus, keep your head straight Now she's a nervous wreck, looking to collect Anything that she can smoke, swallow, drink or inject When she was mentally gone, she went to the prom Had dates and actually could sit down, discuss relationships with her mom But tell me how much pressure can a person take? Before they break and maybe d** just aren't a large enough escape? So one night she turned in but stayed up late At her desk with a single piece of paper and a Paper Mate Here's mama for the routine wake at daybreak What she saw made her knees shake The d**h of dear Kate The note said, "Here's the future of your f**in' perfect child Please be proud, I'm living for the now" Do your work, clean your room now Take the makeup off your face now Eat your dinner now Get off the phone now Leave the boys alone now Saturday night, you staying home now Go to your room and sit alone now Katie, with the needle, how? Look, baby, momma needs you now Breathe now God, why did this have to be now? [Scratches: "And now"] [Scratches: "Now you know"]