Egoraptor - Fat Refund lyrics

[Intro: Ricepirate] My fellow Americans (and to a lesser extent, the rest of the world.) Uncle Sam here - and when I'm not out scoring some wicked hot slash or stealing your hard earned money for God knows what, I'm at home, scoring some wicked hot slash, and listening to sick a** hip-hop! Here's one of my faves - just make sure you've got your checkbook handy! Now bust it n***a! [Verse 1: Stamper] I woke up today, feeling flawless It's obvious I got a really good day ahead Gonna do my taxes! (It's the law, kid!) Got a bowl of cereal Laid out some envelopes, some documents ...and you know, I had some Honey Nut Cheerios... I got a theory though - a hypothesis... ...I don't really gotta do my taxes, right? I could dodge it... Psych! I'm conscious of the consequences And more than happy to contribute and pay my dues to a bottomless deficit (Check it!) I got my brand new W-2 and it's due sooner than later so lemme tell ya what you do You get your business receipts laid out, and add em up! Get your business receipts added up, and write 'em off, n***a! That's it, done - gotta stack them zeroes, inflate that refund, inflate that ego (my negro!) And yo my Honey Nut Cheerios? I wrote it off as a Honey Nut Business Meal [Hook] Bringing truth from the booth playa What you gon' do? Get your W-2, and throw it up! I did my taxes bay-baaaay (And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off in the bathtub.) Filed and all done Federal, Local, and State - fat refund coming my way (And yo...when I'm jacking in the bath I'm gonna bend my wiener up as I'm coming so I can shoot it in my face.) [Post-Hook: Marc M] Damn, I better do my taxes... Roll a W-2, and pa** it Smoke it down to a pile of ashes Man, f** all that "math" sh**... My story ends the same way it begins I refuse to do my taxes, again I went to H&R Block with a raging hard co*k Slammed it on the desk and said "s**" [Verse 2: Egoraptor] I ain't at a loss to figure out how I'm at a loss I got instructions to file my deductions I ain't no CPA, no way! n***a I'm a f**in' deductin' master e-file disaster Gotta file 'em faster the 15th is the pastor preaching The End of Days ...that's right I got a raise Now I gotta phrase All the f**ing ways my pay's appraised So I'm flipping and flipping through f**ing tabs of dumb bullsh** And I didn't notice since I moved My state has taxes just for living! (What!? f** that sh**!) My wallet's got moths, flying out like Chinese New Year Don't I pay enough tax at my TJ Maxx when I swipe my card at the cashier? ...oh sh** I just forgot My stocks in Microsoft been sending me checks f**! This sh** is getting too complex! (Ringading-ding) (Ringading-ding) Hello? Sorry can I talk to Mr. Goldstein? No!! Could the time you left to file be any shorter? I know but... Don't you know you gotta make an estimated payment every quarter! [Hook] Truth from the booth playa, what you gon' do? Throw it up! (Throw it up!) I did my taxes bay-baaay! And to celebrate I'm gonna jack off (off) Filed and all done, all done, done Fat refund, fat fat refund Fat, fat, fat fat refund Fat refund, fat fat wiener [Verse 3: Stamper] I'm confident in congress Pour me shots of tax until I vomit (Awww!) My Uncle Sam needs money? I'm on it...(b**h) Raise my tax and I'mma yawn, and here Take my wallet! It's the least I could pay Living in the USA is a God damn privilege Even though most dudes I know are jobless, and struggling and hopeless With a broken promise from college That put em' in debt to the neck where the rope is... And health insurance? What are you, joking? Regardless All hands to the poop deck it's not as hard as expected You fill out some boxes and check No or yes If you got exemptions Or if you're married or single or...wait why? You D-T-F I-R-S? Damn girl - didn't expect this! Pull that p**y out and I'mma eat it for breakfast That's right, like a big bowl of cereal... That's right, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios That's right...I think I'm outta material (bye!) [Hook] [Outro: Stamper] So do your taxes kid, I did, it was on my bucket-list Just above drugging a kid And holding him down And f**ing him in the bu*t... ...while he struggles around and wait what... sh**! I'm just kidding! Wait! ... (Fat, fat, fat fat refund) I'm not a pedophile or a rapist, I swear! (Fat, fat, fat fat refund) (Fat, fat, fat fat refund) ...or am I? I'm not Kids smell like cookies and bu*t and sh**...it's f**ing gross