Edward Lear - The Akond of Swat lyrics

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair,   &nb sp; or SQUAT,   The Akond of Swat? Is he wise or foolish, young or old? Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,   &nbs p; or HOT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk   ; or TROT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,   ; or COT,   The Akond of Swat? When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's   with a DOT,   The Akond of Swat? Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear   &nbs p; or BLOT,   The Akond of Swat? Do his people like him extremely well? Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,   &nb sp; or PLOT,   At the Akond of Swat? If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,   &nbs p; or SHOT,   The Akond of Swat? Do his people prig in the lanes or park? Or even at times, when days are dark,   &nbs p; GAROTTE,   The Akond of Swat? Does he study the wants of his own dominion? Or doesn't he care for public opinion   &n bsp; a JOT,   The Akond of Swat? To amuse his mind do his people show him Pictures, or any one's last new poem,   &nbs p; or WHAT,   For the Akond of Swat? At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, Do they bring him only a few small cakes,   &nb sp; or a LOT,   For the Akond of Swat? Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,   &n bsp; or a DOT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he like to lie on his back in a boat Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,   &n bsp; SHALLOTT,   The Akond of Swat? Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ,   &nbs p; or a SCOT,   The Akond of Swat? Does like to sit by the calm blue wave? Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,   &nbs p; or a GROTT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? Or a bowl? or a gla**? or a cup? or a mug?   ; or a POT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe,   &nbs p; or ROT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, And tie it neat in a bow with ends,   &nbs p; or a KNOT.   The Akond of Swat? Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,   &nbs p; or NOT,   The Akond of Swat? Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? Does he sail about on an inland lake   ; in a YACHT,   The Akond of Swat? Some one, or nobody, knows I wot Who or which or why or what   Is the Akond of Swat?