Edward Kleban - Dance: Ten; Looks: Three lyrics

[VAL] But after a while I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring. I also sweat my dance card once after an audition, and ona scale of ten, they gave me for dance, ten, for looks, three. Well! Dance, ten Looks, three And I'm still on unemployment Dancing for my own enjoyment That ain't it, kid That ain't it, kid "Dance, ten Looks, three," It's like to die! Left the theater and Called the doctor for My appointment to buy Tits and a** Bought myself a fancy pair Tightened up the derriere Did the nose with it All that goes with it Tits and a**! Had the bingo-bongos done Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and a** won't get you jobs Unless they're yours Didn't cost a fortune neither Didn't hurt my s** life either Flat and sa**y I would get the strays and losers Beggars really can't be choosers That ain't it, kid That ain't it, kid Fised the cha**is "How do you do!" Life turned into and Endless medley of "Gee, it had to be you!" Why? Tits and a**! Where the cupboard once was bare Now you knock and someone's there You have got 'em, hey Top to bottom, hey It's a gas! Just a dash of silicone Shake your new maracas and you're fine! Tits and a** can change your life They sure changed mine Have it all done Honey, take my word Grab a cab, c'mon See the wizard on Park and Seventy-Third For Tits and a** Orchestra and balcony What they want is whatcha see Keep the best of you Do the rest of you Pits or cla** I have never seen it fail Debutante or chorus girl or wife Tits and a** Yes, tits and a** Have changed my life!