Yeah So, I'm walking home I'm just walking home all on my own There's literally no one else awake except me And the bloke selling hot dogs outside the station And what a wild night it's been Two blokes dressed up as bananas join the party Saying that they've just taken a huge pay rise at their dream job Great, so you work 35 hours a week Pushing paper for someone who doesn't even know you exist? Great So you've got a promotion And sit next to Vicky from accounts Who you say is somewhat of a potential love interest Well, either way she's at least a bit of eye candy apparently And, what about you? What keeps you busy? Well, excuse me, my slippery-skinned friend I must be going now And just like that I was off Just me, myself, and I again No distractions, alone with my thoughts And what a wild night it's been co*ktails and disco biscuits And the night bus can be a terrifying place Look, just a short walk past the hardware store And across the crossroads and then home Finally Take these jeans off, slip out of these shoes And stare at the ceiling And let some kind of repetitive salsa music drift me off to the land of nod I sure hope I can sleep tonight, I'm awfully tired In fact, fu*k that, I'm tired as fu*k And avoiding these puddles that seem to have gathered since I left mine is a little bit of a dream (Last night got far too crazy) I slowly make my way down the road (We ate some disco biscuits) (You got sideways, fu*ked up) Tarmac and white lines, tarmac and white lines (I could not feel my fingers) Thank God we got rid of those bananas, eh? (Last night got far too crazy) (We ate some disco biscuits) Why, why (You got sideways, fu*ked up) (I could not feel my fingers) Why is it that when you're ruined all of your interactions seem to have a mysterious undertone Like, wait, did- did I just meet my cousin? Or maybe a future lover? Or- hey! You look just like that guy who works at my local Londis Bartenders, eh? fu*k those guys, like yeah, I get it, I used to work at a bar, too but come on, I'm trying to have fun here and you're being a proper vibe vacuum A vampire vacuuming up every last drop of my enthusiasm until I am nothing but a sorry little raisin Bananas and raisins I sure hope I have toast at home Cheese on toast, salt and pepper, Lea and Perrins- wow Game changer, you have just changed my life Thank you so much for showing up and I genuinely appreciate the guidance Hmm, my legs are aching a little now, but either way not far Not far, c'mon Murray, not far at all Keep on going And each Uber that glides silently past me is like a lonely ghost Of some pre-existent supercar that once roared and snarled at the traffic lights Reduced to nothing but a quivering silent pseudo-suitable tin can Ahh, finally I've made it Where are my keys? Okay, don't be silly, they're in your hand Why're you making this long? Just go through the door Okay, waiting for the lift now And brace yourself for when the lift's door opens And then a huge full-length mirror Me and all my drunken glory Kinda wish I got a photo with those weird banana men now (Last night got far too crazy) (We ate some disco biscuits) But it's okay, fourth floor here I come (You got sideways, fu*ked up) Ahh, flat 65, it's good to be back (I could not feel my fingers) Keys in the door, feeling good, feeling good, and home at last And what a wild night it's been Especially for a school night Won't be doing that again in a hurry (Last night got far too crazy) (We ate some disco biscuits) Okay, turning my phone off now (You got sideways, fu*ked up) And, um, you can keep the music playing by all means (I could not feel my fingers) Just perhaps turn it down a little, if that's cool? Yeah, much better, thank you Oh, a-and, just quickly about tomorrow, I was thinking about taking Ire and Holly out for a walk and then probably just chill Read a book, or something Yeah, haha, yeah yeah yeah Alright, hey, it's been a pleasure Yeah, thanks, speak tomorrow Sweet dreams, and yeah Blah blah blah Alright, goodnight