Of course after the fourth lover leaves you'll question the woman beating inside your chest You'll interrogate her violently and consistently at best At worst you will compress her into a numb vacuum Give her permission to hold nothing but darkness and silence You say maybe that's what it was She was too loud and present for the comfort of any man Too in charge for total submission What else could it be that after giving the best you know to be He still packed up his things as thief-in-the-night as possible and left you sad love songs at midnight kind of lonely Left you still searching for reasons to be vulnerable and whole at the same time And hospitable to anything that resembles pity. Of course it was you, you accuse a body cornered with doubt You, all construction and reconstruction with too much rubble disturbing your aesthetics You, an ocean and self-mended bridges away from wonderland Of course it was you You should've have used more concealer on your insecurities Patchwork quilted over your nightmares You've should've dressed your demons more pretty than honest Altered your dreams to stay still and uncoloured And for now your pain masks a truth you've often felt too forsaken to admit That no matter how worth it his heart is you've never been too insignificant to exist. Of course you know this. It is the subtle, yet monumental truth that regulates your respiration The premise that clicks at your heels each time a chance at love knocks and you move to answer It is the birthright God spoke into you at your conception It is the reason you don't barter your silence for approval You scream yourself out of bad dreams and graffiti the good ones on every blank surface Your insecurities don't match any of your outfits You say you're an emotional hipster and rock it like it's an effortless fashion Of course after the fourth lover leaves, in the wake of loneliness and the sluggish willingness to re-a**emble broken pieces You will attempt to drown yourself in tearful condemnation Go ahead and immerse but teach your body to always come back up for air.