Drive-By Truckers - The Presidents Penis Is Missing lyrics

"They looked in the white house and capitol hill They looked everywhere for buffalo bill We called every scholar, reporter, and genius Has anyone seen the president's penis?" "It ain't in the congress or judiciary It ain't in the Smithsonian or that big ole library An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus Has anyone seen the president's penis?" (Now the entire press corp. erupts in song "The president's penis is missing ole'! We searched high and low, every night everyday Lord, won't you come down and redeem us Has anyone seen the president's penis?" (At this point, legendary news man Walter Cronkite returns from the moon to Add his commentary "Now presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways In the 80's we elected one missing his brain George Washington caught a cold he couldn't explain And we all know the truth about Thomas Jefferson's name" (Suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from The grave and bellows out in an Orson Welles type voice "Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn't no square With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair And all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didn't care And john Kennedy's penis was seen everywhere" (Once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song "The president's penis is missing ole'! We searched high and low every night every day Lord won't you come down and redeem us Has anyone seen the president's penis?" (The scene shifts to sen. John Glenn, wandering Pensively, somewhere in space "Them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness But we're more concerned with the president's penis" The end?