Dougie DL - Another Night With Despondency lyrics

Intro: I remember when I first started rapping I wouldn't know where to start I would just put my heart onto the pages And see how it would all work out Verse 1: I don't know where to go I don't know which way to flow Opposite like the Nile I'm writing this while lying on the tile I opened my file And looked at for a while I went the extra mile But was in last place when I crossed the finish line Depressed and obsessed I want this case To be recessed Maybe deal with it after it is a**essed I've regressed To this state far to many times I express it through my rhymes But I still feel like a man who wants to be rich By trying to collect dimes I'm going nowhere I guess I'm stuck here Stuck in this purgatory Hoping that I am one day worthy Maybe I should arrive at a laboratory And receive some kind of surgery And if it doesn't work be shot by some mercenary I'm living in my own observatory I'm the most critical audience Everything I do I over an*lyze Sometimes I hypothesize Like I am Isaac Newton I guess I just want to be the man behind a solution Maybe be the man who stops world pollution Chorus: Sometimes it's hard when you want to do so much But are just unable to do it Like I wanna change the world But I just don't know how to Verse 2: They gon' love me for my ambition Who the people watching me in my remission Who the people who control my vision Sometimes I want to get in a collision But that would interrupt my mission And I guess I would have to make an admission An admission about my whole life How my motives are hidden away in safe And must be kept safe Cause if the trust gets out Then I guess I'll be Richard Nixon Judged by the public For being an outlier What I aspire Is something that my parents wouldn't admire I'm sick of fluctuating like a tire I wanna to put out a flyer Saying listen to Dougie DL But the second someone sees it I'll get a call on my cell And will mentally be on the DL I am not doing well This day could be marked as the one where I fell Chorus: I'm speechless I don't know what to say What can I say to get noticed Should I just lose myself And try to be someone I'm not Should I change my train of thought Should I act like I sleep on a cot In the middle of the streets And rap like I grew up in poverty and sh** Yeah maybe then I'd be a hit But maybe I can resolve all this by taking a hit (smoking) f**