Dizaster - Dizaster vs Henry Bowers lyrics

[Round 1: Henry Bowers] Some people see this match up as a true surprise And some stupid guys claim my wit was no match for your ruthless style cause you're so doe or die But I too can try to go on and on 'Bout how you can find me at your house with my pajamas on [?] covered in Parmesan And your mom is on her knees cause I force feed her tons of cum all during Ramadan And in the end I had to bend the dumb s*ut up off me Turn to diss like, "Shut the f** up Gaddafi! And get me a hot cup of coffee!" Of course that would be a lie and not quite my style Now let me spit some real talk sh** for awhile I'm Swedish and Norwegians are from fjord to fjord I got a smorgasbord of naughty broads And I know you get impressed by them cause where you from everyone with some estrogen Gets suppressed and then gets arrested when They're not fully and completely dressed in tents Now that's some messed up sh**, eat some excrement You Arabian f*ggot! I pack dynamite, I'm the kinda guy who might talk trash And when it's time to fight I'll arrive on sight in a Guy Fawkes mask Cause indeed I am better, always leave the same letter Not a V For Vendetta but a T for "trendsetter" And in big block letters, "SC" for "Spend Cheddar" [?] it's golden, mics ignite when I hold 'em I'm your master and Dizaster won't even strike when he's bowling I know it hurts inside that your worthless life Is exactly like that Middle Eastern nursery rhyme My mother is a crack who*e, my father drives a tractor I make love to my brother through the back door Now I'm soon done with my round leaving y'all stuck with this clown Rapping badly crafted and poorly orchestrated In the same boring way we always hated Damn, change your behavior, I mean Lord and savior Audience, let me do y'all a favor and tell y'all to think of something else just to pa** the time Use your imagination while he raps his rhymes Imagine flying cars in the sky it ain't hard if you try And I'll be back in flash just like Marty McFly [Round 1: Dizaster] Wow Henry..Muammar Gaddafi Get you a hot coffee That sounds a lot of sh** talk coming from someone who looks like Rob Zombie Really? You gon' make fun of me for being a terrorist? Call me an Arabian, like that's so f**ing genius You gon' pander to the crowd make me look like an outsider cause you into f**ing s**ing penis And these people are friendly, this is not the morals your country teaches Cause you guys welcome all races You got love for all faces So don't let the hatred come between us Cause if y'all co-sign this piece of sh**, you go against everything that makes you Swedish You know what? I think about it this way You guys play on my race and that sh** is played out to the bone people I'm just saying you and Norway try to make us look like Arabs are so evil But you had a terrorist attack in the last six months and you blamed it on one of us And after all of the fuss, it turned out to be one of your own people There's nothing you can do to me, I'm taking my opportunities this year There's nothing you can do to me I'm here I said it's weird trying to figure out your impurities but still it's clear When you look in the mirror, you try to steer away from your insecurities in fear And that's why there's no f**ing way we'll see the day he removes his beard Someone's gonna lose in here When I eat I use a spoon...you use a spear This ain't something that I usually do I'm in Sweden keeping it cool, but as soon as you appear I'll jump up and remove a pubic hair from your useless Rick Rubin beard Then give it to a religious Jewish dude as a souvenir Then you said something about how you're the Lord and savior But you're not just because you image of the son of God our savior You look more like Okwerdz if he lost his razor Protesting outside like, "Don't hurt the trees." God I hate ya, "Don't. No we should not use paper." Who the f** are you supposed to be? Father Nature? You told Dirtbag Dan, I remember you said, "Norway has a lot of oil" you said that to Dan in his bars I went and researched your oil reserves, it ain't that really large I mean you f*ggots barely have enough to gas up your cars Oh, you don't think you're low on oil? Well guess what, by Arabic standards you are! [Round 2: Henry Bowers] Okay, that terrorist, that was one of us, that was true That just proves that we can do it too! Christmas is coming up and I got a letter from Dizaster The other day, I opened and read it, here's what he had to say "Dear Santa, could you please get me a s** change cause I feel I badly need this Cause people laugh at me cause I don't really have a penis." Despite my Santa beard I'm not in the wish list business So I dismiss Miss Diz' And it's safe to say that I'll break your face With my battler of the year trophy that I use as a paper weight Then I watch you fade away when I slice a major veins with that razor blade I stole from your lady shave And the doctors be like, "Quick, get him on the table And get some jumper cables If his heart rate is ever gonna resemble something stable." Now you're getting what you paid for, remember I was able To body bag MC's when he was resting in his cradle And he's got that terrorist image And he travels a lot but actually The main reason for all his travelling, is not his battling Truth is every time he's walking through Customs he dreams of getting strip searched A manly hand down his pants, get the picture? "Sir, has someone else packed your bag?" He's like, "Well, not my ruck sack But someone might've snuck some C4 up my back door last time I got my fudge packed [?] worth it if you stuck your finger up my a** and searched it." And when they interrogate him about Al-Qaeda's new location He waits for them to rape him with great anticipation Like, "That electricity you're putting on my nipples really tickles me We could do this all day, but I a**ume it's foreplay." And they are getting sick of Dizaster, always smuggling sh** up his a** and he's trying to quit But it's in his nature, I guess it seems cruel But pa**ing a clean stool just doesn't seem to be in his gene pool You can't fight your instincts and I actually need to say It's not the only time you lost a battle to DNA That post battle interview was a bit of a marathon He didn't say much but you rambled on That's some serious ADHD but you know what help your situation? If you take your medication! And f** infinity, I'm a street smart winner And you get 8/ate sideways like some retard's dinner When you told DNA you were the Prince Of Persia that's when you truly lost See that was on point, cause you be soft (Ubisoft) Well anyway, apart from all of that when you and Arsonal were battling He went on and on and smashed it But all for naught the fact is That Diz' knew he was in for a rape that's when he called the cops so they could save his a** [Round 2: Dizaster] After I said that sh** you're still going on about the Arabic sh** Goddamn it I can't even call you a racist or a white supremacist Cause if I took off your hat put on a turban you'd look like one of my relatives I'll make fun of myself so now you feel like you left out I'll jab you with the right and the left brow Cause MC, I got the best style You look like you grew up on a farm and own a pet cow They say Osama Bin Ladin is dead, how? I heard he got plastic surgery to look like a white guy with dreads, wow This whole thing is starting to make so much sense now Everyone across the world knows you as Dirtbag Dan's counterfeit How do you feel now knowing he doesn't amount to sh** That thing on your face is hideous I don't even know why you're so proud of it You're not even a human with a beard You're just a f**ing beard with a human growing out of it It seems like we're not going to get along but I really had some hope for us But I can't hear anything you're saying right now cause your beard's so loud it's f**ing yelling over both of us I'm not playing Henry it's fact you'll get your skeleton smashed And your chest will be shattering I'll put your leg in a cast, your head in your lap and put an end to your babbling I'll level you flat, I'm on a different level of battling I'll show up- intersecting your path with a javelin Show up where ever you at and like a basketball ref I'll check you in traveling I'm nothing less than a savage So cross me and expect the level of damage is To exceed what the Jews did to the Shepard Of Nazareth Look at him Depressed and he's sad, he's mad again, he's not getting no a** again They fired him from [?] for another one of his reckless shenanigans They caught him in a restroom having s** with mannequin that looked like Jennifer Aniston And they caught him red handed and he said, "What? I don't have any friends." Get it? I don't have any Friends Homie, everything about you is fake You're from a town called Uppsala Wait, that wasn't even the punchline Wait, I was trying to say, he was from Uppsala and that's why he's fake Cause Uppsala sounds like one big f**ing mistake Homie, how you gonna look like a Rasta, homie I'll shoot ya You ain't have the image of a Rasta cause you never smoke Zutla With your boombayeh Yeah, yeah {machine gun noise then Dizaster speaks in Swedish and the crowd goes nuts} [Round 3: Henry Bowers] Okay, shut the f** up, that's what you oughta do You said I could be one of your relatives And I don't mean to bother you but I'm your father Luke And I got that Dumbledore beard and my master plan Is to lock your silly a** up in Azkaban So next week there'll be no battle up in Amsterdam And that's my big "f** you" to all Dizaster fans And I usually have no fear, I pack gear like a armed soldier And of course you couldn't trim my beard with a lawn mower But last night I had a serious talk with my facial hair Cause I discovered something that actually made me scared I was like, "That's it! Right now. That's it! Time out Stop this madness right now I was in your room the other day and I was sad to find out That on the walls you had autographed posters of Dizaster's eyebrows." And I'll damage you cause I got the attitude of Patty Hughes I have no rules and people show me gratitude Cause after you've been hacked in two And absolutely no one out there will hear another rap from you Finally Dizaster through and that's the truth I know talk is cheap but I often hear That this odd and queer slop appears to have had some pretty f**ed up job careers Here let me share some details from 'em He started working as a mail/male man ended up a female woman Yeah I know, that was low Then him and Okwerdz joined the fire brigade but I don't know All the other firemen kept referring to them as the "fire hoes/hose" And then he started working as a Chip N Dale But left all the women's faces looking sick and pale Now he's looking for sponsorship but that ship has sailed Man your career fell so hard it showed on the Richter Scale A "bad rap has been" that's a title that suits ya Sure you have written battle history, I'm writing the future You need to quit and let go, you've been sh** from the get go Plus when you're not battling you look like you listen to techno Sure, we've seen your battle vids, dressed all baggy and black And to top it all off, twist your cap to the back We wanna talk to Diz' at the after party you need to prepare well Or you might just pa** out by the mere smell of his hair gel He suddenly acts like a brat now where did that f**er come from? He's like, "A tight shirt might work but the top bu*ton's undone." If he's ever packing aerosol I a**ume it's hairspray {Speaks in Swedish} Google translate! So when the battle is over, rumors have [?] We'll get to see the b**h in you; Super Metroid [Round 3: Dizaster] Ayo, homie, you are not the past and you're definitely not the future You wanna diss me in Swedish? Well I can do it too {Speaks Swedish} Look p**y, one thing that I know for certain That I would rather own a turban and be known as Persian Than smell like no detergent Spoken word-you're a virgin You know what s**s the most about you looking so much like a homeless person Is even if you got employed you still wouldn't have no clothes to work in I would never give you a fair chance Battling me is the actual dare Mainly cause of the fact that you wear Vans You got the swag of a pa**enger on Air France, you a square He got that prepared stance, that I'm aware But I ain't scared fam' I was trained to k** a man with my bare hands f*ggot you scared, call me an "Arab" I'm f**ing your b**h bare back on a prayer mat in the middle of Madison Square Examples have to be there And I said that you were the number one in Sweden, I lied And I did that cause I can You have one more mission to complete before we call you king of this land So there's no way on Earth I'd ever respect this MC as a man Until he mans up and does a rematch with Shazaam Homie, how f**ing wack are you? Bro, I don't even have to chat with you Look what I'ma do right now, I'ma drop the writtens and go off the top and battle you You f**ing s** so much there's nothing you can do You try to say you're my father Luke, well f** you too Let me tell you something, you wanna talk about fathers Well I wasn't gonna talk about fathers That something I wasn't gonna intend to say But I'ma do it, but not in a bad light Really that's not what I intend to say Cause I was trying to help him get off of alcohol, I hit him up everyday But no matter how close I got, he was always twelve steps away I seen that battle where that dude said you beat your woman Yeah, you beat your wife? I heard you f**ing picked her up and shook her I heard you f**ing beat her on the head with a stick Kicked her down a staircase and you pushed her I guess when she told him, "Henry take me clubbing", he completely misunderstood her But he's a caveman, so he naturally stays away from sight I couldn't even tell you what his social game is like If someone pa**es him a lighter right now he'd look at it like a strange device One day his homie gave him some great advice He told him, "Henry it's not too late to change your life You could shave, get up, get a job and make it right." So he finally got his sh** together, put on his favorite suit Open up the door was like, "I can't take the light!" Going back to how you beat your b**h, that sh** really pisses me off You get ripped whenever, yeah you're still a caveman So when you and your homies wanna stay warm in the winter weather You huddle up and create fire by rubbing your sticks together So, imagine you beating that woman, with her dad, he can't even sleep at night I mean if you really beat your wife and that's something that happens in real life Then God gave you a daughter as karma so when she grows up and has a husband that beats her you can know what it feels like