Dizaster - Dizaster vs Dumbfoundead lyrics

ROUND 1 [Dumbfoundead] First off, why the guy that valet cars dressed like Avatar? Ten years ago we battle at a record store called "The Basement" Ten years later you battled Ca**idy... in a basement What a whole lot of life wasted While I was doing acting, stand-up and music as well You were watching 8 Mile everyday mastering losing yourself You probably think I'mma call you something like a cab driver That's stupid as hell, it's 2015, you drive an Uber XL I remember when Daylyt was on the same team with you Then he got a mask tattoo on his face cause he didn't want to be seen with you He was embarra**ed that you were from his clique Embarra**ed! This is the dude who took a public sh** And told Diddy he would s** his dick Shots fired, shots fired I don't know when you and his friendship got sour Was it when things got rough and you disappeared like a soft coward? Or was it when his career charged up while yours lost power? Or maybe is when you tried to crash a plane into the Watts Tower? Either way that's your marital dispute not ours So handle that sh** on your off hours or dance in the ring you wallflowers You're not from L.A., I rep the city proper Clippers, Lakers, Dodgers You're from Ventura County Dentists, lawyers, doctors Actually you're from Thousand Oaks A big backyard with a thousand goats, cows and sheep Were you make wallets, wallets, wallets, towels and coats You're not a drug dealer, you're a cow dealer I could summarize your life without filler In grade school he was an outfielder In high school this jerk worked as clerk at Turban Outfitters No pictures with girls, he missed going to prom Too busy rolling with his rich gang His nickname was Rich Homie Quran A young thug looking for a bone to pick While I was getting stoned with chicks He was trying to throw stones at chicks Holy sh**! But he did go to college Majored the multisyllabics Minored in calling people f*ggots Took some theater cla**es that's why he's overly dramatic Graduation pictures with sitting diplomas from Bin laden When you were a kid you always got Air Jordans Actually you're the heir to the airline that flies to Jordan, Air Jordan [Dizaster] For this battle I traveled all the way from the land of the rising sun Where instead of an alarm clock his father woke me up every morning by banging of the side of giant drum So we walked into the front yard and stood together and aligned and synchronized our hums They taught us the true story of how life began But instead of a Bible we were reading scriptures straight out from the book version of Street Fighter 1 And I'm not gonna lie y'all, it was kind of fun Everybody give it up for my battle contender He's name is Dumbfoundead but he's also known as Hannibal Lecter... when he's at the animal shelter As far as your nail salons I'm through with you I'm sick of taking my mother there and having your mother talk sh** about it in Korean when she polish the cuticle Looking over to her co-worker like {Dizaster makes up Korean} And I'm like, "What does that mean?" And she's like "Ohoho... we say that your mama... she beautiful." I don't give a f** if you guys think that I'm racist I'm about to make an Asian dude open up the doors for me like The Keymaker from the Matrix Congratulations Ninja Gaiden, your fake fight got millions of page hits As soon as your sh** went viral online you called up your sensei and told him "Ninja we made it!" (Stop my time bro) And you been living off that prank since and that's people are all pissed but how could you blame him He's Asian, it's in his nature to try to rip people off with their fake kicks Before this battle he told Organik "If the battle go for over three minutes, the battle isn't gonna go down." Looking like the f*ggot a** kid from Indiana Jones which makes sense why you want such a Short Round (oh yes, short round) I don't even need race jokes, I don't need race jokes I could demolish you with facts The only reason King of the Dot didn't need Avi to book this match Cause you starving and you want this just as bad You make songs but you're always getting taxed And you back to where you first started Cause it's the only place where you can spit it and keep every dollar that you have Ain't no respect and honor for a cat Who walked around and turned his back On the same art form that got him where he's at You figure after all the acupuncture You'd have a spinal column in your back But is probably not attached cause you went to Hollywood to act And on top of all of that your biggest accomplishment in rap Is paying to get Waka Faka on a track Listen, so tell me who's better, the facts very-very clear He's like Bruce Jenner, you have a transparent career And that's why I do race jokes, cause no one cares for your life They want to hear stereotypes, you're such a racist Asian guy Your favorite football player is probably Jerry Rice Yo, look at your f**ing moon shaped, Lucy Liu face Your dick is like a half-used tube of tooth-paste You got a tooth ache cause you went Ruby Tuesdays And ordered the Scooby Doo plate Don't get it twisted y'all, he's with this drama Oh yeah Jin [?] his mama is with this drama As soon as he touched to Toronto six Chihuahuas went missing in Mississauga Wonder why Asian people don't got love for us It's cause we always treat them like damn tourists And every time they try to stand up for themselves they get beat the f** up by Chuck Norris I see Organik want to cut me off and end the battle That's cool, you cut me off fine Cause no matter how much you try shorten my rounds You're mother will always love me long time ROUND 2 [Dumbfoundead] You made your whole career out off calling yourself a terrorist Like is anybody scared of him? Let me give you comparisons of your usual terrorist and delusional American They throw rocks at tanks, you like rocking tanks They blew up the New York skyline You blow up my timeline They create a hostage situation You couldn't handle a Caustic situation You're just a spoiled prince of Arabia Appropriating terrorist culture, Iggy Azralea After that incident with Math He had to battle overseas,like an athlete with bad knees I saw that battle with that Swiss guy they gave you mad cheese In Amsterdam they paid you in hashish He went from Ukraine to Spain just this last week Damn chief, you'll battle in any international backstreet For a flat fee, you're like the real life Zangief But the wack thing, he wasn't even on tour He was just being a tourist Backpacking through Europe for the backpackers in Europe You went from King of the Dot to King Of Iraq You went from cream of the crop to screaming "Marak" But I did see that rap battle where you spoke in Arabic Was that Lebanon or Qatar? I couldn't tell if he was battling with bars Or haggaling at a bazaar Yo that sh** was weak bro Have you all seen his f**ing Tweets He was like "Come to my thirtieth birthday You will hear gun bars, personals and the nerdiest wordplay It's gonna be at a mansion, we'll have drinks and battles Let's kick it! Everything you can imagine." except b**hes But just to research this battle, I went to go and observe Pulled up to curb at his home in the 'burbs I saw the Prince of Sadi coming out of a tinted Cadi' That was your homie for sure And then from a distance I saw three wise men Bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh And as I got closer I realised it was just Rone, Illmaculate and Eurgh That sh** was crazy though, the party was wild though He had a petting zoo and a patio, all camels He had a clown making balloon animals, all camels He even had kids hitting piñatas, that were shaped like the Twin Towers and a little Obama And he brought out even a stripper from Gaza She was showing her wrists and ankles And did a split on the llamas But the weird thing was, they're throwing rocks at her instead of tipping her dollars [Dizaster] You said some sh** about Jafar, some sh** about Obama Call me all this sh** about camels and sh** about llamas I'd expected more from you, some terrorist sh** about martyrs It's 2015 little guy, you got a chink in your armor Listen here dumpling breath Your mother's flatter than a f**ing desk Getting breast-fed as a baby you must've been stressed Your milk was gone after a couple pecks You went "mtsou, mtsou" and there was nothing left See I can do what you do, hit the people with the comedian feel But f** that, they wanted to see a blood bath Let the the dim sum spill Your b**h gonna leave here knowing how getting fistf**ed with a pair of her own nunchuks feels He was raised in hip-hop, growing up your favorite three rappers of all time were Lil' Kim, B.I.G. and Rakim Jung Ill You know what else rhymes with Kim Jung Ill? You have way too many family members in Richmond Hill Live in front of everybody, they gon' say this kid got k**ed But of course they gonna say he served me over the net Every Asian was born with incredible ping-pong sk**s I'll admit y'all, I got a heavy Asian fetish So before we go any further I'mma put the cards all out on the table... tennis Your mother is ma**euse from Brampton Who specializes in ma**age and feng shui I never book her cause she's really a hooker And that kind of rubs the wrong way Your b**h is f**ing anime dominatrix s*ut She came to our temple and got raped by a hundred monks While she was getting punched in the face with uppercuts Cause that's the only way she can bust a nut You can't make her cum Dumb, you should just give up You done after a quick thrust, when Dump hits once It's like getting fist-f**ed by a kid giving her a single fist-pump His b**h calls it "the one inch punch" You better not talk about the Math fight at all Cause I guarantee you that's one math problem Your nerdy a** would never like to solve Me and you fighting is like throwing a little nine year-old in pike brawl One right and fall, go nighty-nighty, the right hand is like Tylenol I'll doggystyle your mama on top of the China Wall and the put my sushi roll in her booty hole because she likes it raw Yo I'll leave this china doll with a wired jaw I'll strike him with the eye of the tiger plus a lion paw I'll f**ing throw a shuriken star on you at moving car And the drag you by with a iron claw You ain't the type of Asian guy to throw giant fireball You're the type of Asian guy that I would call If I needed help trying to install my firewall He had a Firefox, she says "I'm a Mac now cause I evolved." And he ain't in her laptop now Because his dick caught a virus and is microsoft With your little eyesockets that look like dime slots It'd be a wild shot to squeeze an eye drop in the right spot Without mirrors coming out the back of your head from both sides to help you see your blind spots You're a f**ing yellow minion with a single eyeball A f**ing North Korean cyclops That shouldn't be allowed to leave the sidewalk Without a seeing guide dog And a translator that spits his dialogue Eat a b**h! You little f*ggot trying to distract me through my sh** Shut up you f**ing little b**h Your f*ggot a** should be quiet Weren't you were one of my students I'd taught how to be a master at silence You little f**ing b**h ROUND 3 (- I didn't say word... you taught how to be silent sensei... - I will Kung-Fu kick you) [Dumbfoundead] Yo Diz I heard you finally put out an album, bet that sh** is mad wack Let's see how many damn tracks Of course no surround wrap Parental Advisory, it may contain anthrax (What the f**)? (Diz: That's okay... that's okay... I allow that) Nah I'm playing, I'm playing I bump that sh** on the road I especially like track number 4 where the hook goes: "Rolling through Egypt with my bros" Wait, Lush is your manager right? (That was already a punchline) How the f** do you have a manager that can't manage his life? You take financial advice from a guy who can't pay his battlers right But always has a bag of that white (god damn! that's f**ed up man) With all that f**ing crust around your nose you look thirsty I know years ago you ordered Jin But for me it take one shot to k** a Wild Turkey Yours bars tender career is on the rocks So how can your old fashion style hurt me You rap like it's last call trynna take the bar out in a hurry (Can I get a little something here?) I couldn't write like how Diz writes I like to keep my sh** tight Let me give you an insight on what people like and dislike You put all this extra sh** before your punches And it don't hit right like your last fist-fight It's simple math, listen cla** Let me teach you all about one liners Speaking about one liners, is that an eyebrow or a sun visor? See? That was a sample I'm the nicest, you're from ISIS There's another example You're full of yourself and awful You're falafel There is another example When Organik was forced to ban you from the sport He had other battle leagues support And we all saw increases on the annual report We saw Youtube views going up 20 percent Female attendance a 110 Chicks were actually asking about upcoming events And even Ovo and Drizzy wanted to spent But you? You watched Blackout on Pay Per View Invited all his closest friends and neighbors through Put the TV on a homemade stage for two And yelled multis at the screen till his face turned blue And none of us could rebu*tal, we were placed on mute I can't believe you actually wanted unlimited verses I thought 2 minutes was perfect for a limited person I even created an interesting fictional version All that extra sh** you do is a just a diversion All that twisting and turning, hippity-pippity Like middle eastern sprinkle bursting I know when we first met we were just teens And right now you think we doing big things But ten years from now I'll be in the big screen And you're going to be here in World Domination 15 [Dizaster] Game over You talking about my eyebrows but you're a man Why you even looking there and why would you care? I know, I know why you angry my face is bushy there It reminds your Asian b**hes p**y hair (of course it does) (Dumbfoundead: I saw that) Yeah of course you saw that but you can't see anything else in life You know what rhymes with Dumbfoundead? You're so Asian your face looks like a f**ing plug outlet If you're looking for the full package in him No, he ain't about sh** cause judging by the shape of his eyes you could tell he's never been well rounded He spends all his monthly allowance on Kung Lao outfits and Kung Pao shrimp He's a B-boy with a new dance move he's about to start busting out with it It's called the "left-right-up-down-punch-punch ground kick" I went to your father's convenience store To get some 40 ounces and I didn't have some cash I told him "Give me the bottle Mr.Ming, I'll get you back." He's like "Oh no, we don't do that." I was like "Why?" He's like "Every time you take it a dollar you don't come back." I'm funny dog, at least I didn't give you some f**ing cliché sh** like the Asian guy from Hangover Or call you a chain smoker that plays poker or is probably a game coder Or probably that your mother is a pale hoe and it's a shame on her That after she built the railroad, we ran a train on her That's a case closed, the game over 'Long blade tucked under the raincoat' mind state like J-Hova when he created "Takeover" I'll shank you in your nose with a coat hanger then pull your face closer hit from close range, from the flamethrower Break you, throw hay makers and break shoulders One shot all you saw was his head come off like a ISIS Islamic state soldier You don't deserve punchlines You deserve "stuff like this" You deserve to be treated like a little a** b**h I deserve to f**ing beat the sh** out of you and your homies, I'll f**ing k** them all I'll have my homie f**ing hook up an atomic bomb and drop it on the Pacific Mall So stick to playing your part and crashing every car race that you start I can tell you Korean by the way that you park I guarantee you, even though he was Caucasian Paul Walker was really Asian at heart You little f**ing bike commuter You spineless, rice consuming, science tutor f**ing online cyber shooter, online computer cyber shooter, high school loser, the f**ing sheltered private schooler Went on and become a knock-off diamond j**eler Driving Scion hybrid Ubers with nitrous boosters Yo your father was a f**ing, listen to me you little f*ggot Your father was a f**ing violent child abuser Everyday he made you fight Akuma And if you lose you couldn't have no spicy tuna Your wife looks like high abuser and she designed my Pumas And the only reason you could afford to get those clothes and kicks is cause some homeless orphaned kids On their opening morning shifts in Mongolia Stiched your retro Jordan six for like 40 cents Did you get my Tokyo Drift? You 4 foot 6 Margaret Cho looking Yoko Ono b**h? You ain't gon' show guns, you're a Shogun chef I'll fistf** your b**h with a shinobi fist and you won't do sh** cause your go-go gadget is a 4 foot GoPro stick And next time, stand back bro Next time you want to do some fake sh** to get some views I'mma show you what some real training will do One shot, two shot, b**h I'm more Asian than you!