Dirtbag Dan - Real Deal & Fresco vs Soul Khan & Dirtbag Dan lyrics

[Round 1: Real Deal] You two are in trouble You better hope Christ don't carry a grudge and count your Jewish rebu*tals Now Dirtbag I'm getting pissed, you're on my sh** list Real talk I'm getting pissed You'll be on it, once I get you off of Schindler's List [Fresco] Yo, yo, yo, he is a dirtbag (oh yeah?) But that's because he co*ks his mother If he wanted something hot for supper he'd have to lock and cuff her He said he wanted to stop last winter, he didn't want a brother Until he got a box of rubbers as a stocking stuffer [Real Deal] Oy vey! Soul Khan you've been losing battles a lot And since you're Jewish you can appreciate how much your value has dropped But me? I'm ahead of my game Your style should come patented with Rhetoric's name And Dan, how come you look like a vagabond but your wife's always the one catching the train? [Fresco] Oh, oh, that's prolly cause this motherf**er was born in a manger (Real talk?) Not cause he's a Lord or a savior His parents just thought that that sh** was normal behavior Yo f** that, your Jewish bargaining tactics are never gonna work Try to haggle me for a Real Deal and ended up with Dirt [Round 1: Soul Khan] This sh**'s a vacation for me, I'm in the O to burn my salary We can shave our beards, Real Deal can't grow a personality Yo, he a good dude though, I'd hate to give him second place They say nice guys finish last...all over Fresco's face [Dirtbag Dan] This kid got kicked out seminary for gay s** And this guy looks like 80% of every preliminary rape sketch Aye, tell your buddy K-Fed to get an AIDS test and don't lie He's one of those dudes that raped you on that pinball machine in Boys Don't Cry [Soul Khan] Now Fresco the type of dude to get AIDS by reflex And then drop a clothing line called H.I.V. necks Yo, we California bred, how the f** are we supposed to fear A Pittsburgh Pirate and a rectal Buccaneer [Dirtbag Dan] Stop stop Hey, let's be honest I'm feeling Kid Caustic's wordplay Wait a minute, you're not Caustic, he has more of a bird face [Round 2: Real Deal] Yo, motherf**a...f** it, whatever you was rapping was weak He's from Woodland Hills, they named it after his cheek Let that sh** sink in a little bit [Fresco] Yo, yo check it out This is how we Jew it Yo, yo he knows Jew-jitsu and Jew-do Your favorite movie is Juno You back that a** up listening to Jew-vie In a pair of pink daisy dukes that say Jew-cy [Real Deal] Hey, this motherf**er was frozen in ice for most of his life So he ain't prepared to battle I flew from Florida, Southwest He flew south east on a pterodactyl [Fresco] And that fact that you shaved your beard means you're not so smart Looking like you f** dudes on the down low dressed as Groucho Marx [Real Deal] Did you know Soul Khan's a fiend? And he rolls with his dealer here, ahh Dustface He thinks he plays ball cause he gotta slide in Dirt to touch base You grew a playoff beard but you s** at every damn sport I'll take a sh** in your Brown Bag and burn it on Dan's porch [Fresco] Eh, f** your entire verse Simon Birch Go get your tools up Help rebuild Jebodiah's church or f**ing drown in a school bus f*ggot [Round 2: Dirtbag Dan] Our battle, was a cla**ic match up between two of the finest Your battle, was a one sided rape fest; domestic violence [Soul Khan] Don't ever you f**ing mention Brown Bag in your lines I sold motherf**ing more records than both you f*ggots combined! [Soul Khan] Y'all heard Real Deal's music? Like the Plight of Trevor Weller All your beats sound like they produced by motherf**ing Hellen Keller I've heard of generic motherf**ers, he's as plain as they come You're Trevor, your kid's Trevor, you even s** at naming your son [Dirtbag Dan] How original is he with the names? I mean, Real Deal, original ain't that? About as original as a Myspace photo shoot of you writing raps on the train tracks [Soul Khan] I say this, if Fresco's tracks, that sh**'ll just paid for y'all I'd rather get kicked in the taint or balls than listen to Clarisa explain it all And you ever making gay jokes with yo' feminine habits Well that's like the pot calling the kettle a f*ggot [Dirtbag Dan] Honestly, I feel like we're giving him a thrashing We should be giving him a thrashing He takes so much dastardly dick When he takes a sh** it sounds like Muttley laughing [Soul Khan] And I know this might sound a little h*mophobic But you're the only dude I know who's ever owned a glow stick [Round 3: Fresco] Yo, yo, yo I don't wanna battle with you two f**ing hoes That Muttley line's dope, Madness told it to me two months ago Soul you're a sad soul When he thinks when Dan raps it's a b**h Cause every time he cuts you off you have a flashback to your bris [Real Deal] Soul Khan smells like sh**, honestly foul I told dude, "Get in the shower" and tossed him a towel He said, "Uh huh. You fooled my people once I won't fall for it now." I bet you karaoke Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song and you know every word Picture him at gay bars, showing up slurred Louis and Ogre from Nerds [Fresco] Aye, but we had his Jewish broad She was tasting the co*k And after three hours of breaking her box We had her down on all fours puking up bagels and lox See, you're gay as AIDS and you s** in the cipher And you're David Spade after a month of Survivor But lost your razor blade when you were hunting a tiger [Real Deal] I think this Virgin Mary needs a purse to carry And when it comes to rappers, you make Dumbfoundead look as much as a mercenary as f**ing Dirty Harry And you're not getting p**y, blame them And if the sh** isn't clear...look who the f**'s face is on the flier and look how many women in here And when Soul Khan's piping Dan, he's like, "Chill out when you start to take it." While he's target aiming on his tramp stamp of the Star Of David [Round 3: Soul Khan] You honey drippers ain't a match for Daniel and Khan Here's your relationship in three words, Bed, Bath & Beyond Time been tough for Real Deal he been feeling wrecked by the stress or nah- He been wrecked by the stress building Until he got a job as a bodyguard protecting Perez Hilton [Dirtbag Dan] This motherf**er was in the 'Zay trying to get chicks and he got all bitter Cause they were like, "Let's go f**." And he was like, "Nah, let's go scissor." Honestly, when it comes to me and Khan beating y'all, bro no prob And I appreciate y'all trying to grow facial hair, we call that "h*moflage" [Soul Khan] I got the voice of a goddamn beast You got the voice of a drama coach Here's the Real Deal Five bucks for five nuts in yo' mama's throat And I'll say this, they asked me for a favor I'd be an a**hole if I said no So by the power invested in me I now pronounce you man and Fresco [Round 4: Fresco] Yo, yo, yo this motherf**ing rabbi's pathetic Every time he performs the entire crowd turns anti-semitic If he needs attention he has to go on a chatline to get it Cause a** from a black guy is something you can't buy with credit [Real Deal] Dirt, Dirt, real talk, how long are you arms? Cause that'd make a perfect addition to the cross in my yard And I swear to God, Grind Time has got us rap battling f*ggots Thanks for this wack album of trash Zach Galifianakis [Fresco] Aye, I could fire in the sky like it's not for no reason Pop, your dome's leaking, my shots are Soul seeking [Real Deal] Ayo, and we can flip sh** and rip it with yo' name Cause on the way to Auschwitz there was no dancing on Soul Train [Fresco] Eh, Dan said he piped a Mexican broad but I don't think so Cause you speak Spanish so you realize that no means no But to your wife, yes means yes and no means rape And maybe means I'm giving her a protein shake [Round 4: Dirtbag Dan] You know what? Honestly, you guys keep f**ing around and it's the world's end I'ma hold your a** down while Soul Khan beats the f** outta your girlfriend [Soul Khan] If I slap Fresco he'd release a deafening queef I have to say "no h*mo" after every single sentence you speak Real Deal murdered you, you continue to nut hug My papa was a rolling stone, yours is a bu*t plug [Dirtbag Dan] A f**ing cross on your yard kid? You must really like me Go out there, pull it out, and pray to daddy nightly [Soul Khan] Yo Real Deal, this might be a sore subject for me to tread on But I don't think your son is gonna like his new step mom Y'all some mark a** new jacks, we were born for doing this If Grind Time was Voltron, Fresco would form the uterus [Dirtbag Dan] Yo, he rolls with a squad of broads but never wants to bang out Cause all the chicks wanna do with dudes is go shopping and hang out I mean, come clean bro You kick it with a bunch of teen hoes Who only really let you hang out cause you let 'em borrow your clean clothes [Soul Khan] And Real Deal got a jersey of Roberto Clemente That's really sweet and fine But here you gon' be like him and die before you reach your prime