Dirtbag Dan - Dirtbag Dan vs. Rone lyrics

[Round 1: Rone] So, you know who loves Dan's battles? Dan You know who loves to talk about Dan? Dan You know who Dan's favorite rapper is? Dan You know who makes the best meatballs in the world though? My motherf**ing grandmom let's go! First off, I'm here to say, f** the Dirtbag Dan Show you saucy little b**h I only watch, to watch Caustic when he calls you on your sh** Your ego, your self entitlement, everyone is tired of it It got you here and this battle is gonna send you off into retirement You're inflated and delusional thinking you gon' get this You're the least complex battler with the most complexes You think your battle raps media, like you think you're Matt Lauer Well I'll take you out with 24 like I think I'm Jack Bauer You can barely afford your studio, but the bro's gotta try What you think you a journalist just because you broke all the time Well you wanna set that standard well damn it you can't pander But Danny ain't Dan Rather, he's closer to Ann Landers Well I hope Fox hires you to cover battle rappers I'll run on set like a boat captain, it ain't nothing to drop an anchor See I'm the nicest On The Road since Jack Kerouac The biggest stud of the bunch since Secretariat With an old fashioned a** whooping for your scary a** I do it right and them cheeks gon' need a paragraph/pair of graph You said, "fear the beard", how's that sh** gonna move me? That's peach fuzz on a coochie I'm from a city that's full of Soonies That's a mark's beard No...that's Karl Marx's beard, I'm certain That's John Lennon's if he was alive Or Jim Morrison's if he was a virgin That's the bearded lady from the circus, plus Freud in the same person That's Uylsses Grant, Robert Lee and William Tecumseh Sherman And it's got me thinking...finally...Danny is spending time with me Cause sh**'s been different ever since ever since you started filming Duck Dynasty Well f** a Dirtbag Dan, I'ma Glad bag Dan Saran Wrap Dan and his rag tag clan You'll get zipped in your own f**ing backpack Dan, when they have to add a RIP when they hashtag Dan You got my eyes like saucers and I'm salivating too This a f**ing drawn weapon, you're just an animated dude An animal, verse the meal that he's masticating through I'll turn the San Jose stage into the San Diego Zoo [Round 1: Dirtbag Dan] You know what rhymes with Penn State? BEEN RAPED! See Fresco already broke down on his third round how you got caught up in that Sandusky pedo case But hearing him, accuse you of getting molested is like watching the pot calling the kettle "raped" I mean, Rone? Fresco? What's the difference? Both you b**hes are built like female Russian gymnasts I bet he didn't press charges cause he wasn't tripping sh**, I bet he got jealous of the other victims Of course you got raped with them feminine traits Old Blimey would f** and we know she's a lez You got Woody Harrelson from White Men Can't Jump's swag And Uno Lavoz is your Rosie Perez Don't be upset, but if you say you're battling Real Deal in a week we won't be impressed Just remember a**hole, who arranged for your travel I don't just headline these battles, I run thee events I'm your boss today motherf**er Since I hired you to drop flows So it ain't a gun reference if I say, "I'm firing the long nose" Get it? Get it? Cause he got a long nose I'll put a hook in that sh** like Gonzos I'll put elbows on you like John Jones 'Til your face gets Puffy like Sean Combs It's on Rone Picture me out front of your parent's house like lawn gnomes Me and the homies gonna wait patient Break in when your moms home and do her body good That b**h got a milk mustache and some strong bones Gang rape bars What's wrong Rone? You didn't think was gonna get this real bwoy? Walking around this motherf**er looking like Pinocchio if he was a real boy You f** with Dan, it's over Dan and/Dannon yogurt, cause if I say "lunch" The little homies will peel his cap And send this p**y back to Philly in a coffin painted teal and black Shark City b**h! [Round 2: Rone] Having Penn State pedophile bars with that beard...there really isn't hope for you And stop eyeing me up like that Dan, I'm way too old for you Yo, I'll get Dirt...dusted just for thinking that he's relevant Everything I said I meant, compact Dirt to sediment Embarra**ment is inherent, something you can't help Cause in the end Dirt, you only soil yourself So, you're one of those, all about MMA dudes But really I can feel that But where were those MMA sk**s at When you were shirtless wrestling Illmac' With a couple of drunk moves, he started to crush you Your exact words were, "Dude, I'm high on mushrooms" Play by play, Illmac' picked you up like you guys were in the ring Your legs were kicking in the air like a child on a swing You got a foot on him He plucked you like you're lighter than a twig Then he slammed you through the bed, enough to drive you through the springs He brought that Triple A shovel out for ripping this fool Showed me the scoop on Dirt, now I'm not digging this tool But me? I'm slim thugging Having acid flashbacks to when I ripped Rugged No discussion, turn the Hacksaw back on Jim Duggan You're personal life is as boring as the game on Tim Duncan While my game in the Golden State is smooth as a J on Chris Mullan I got Sosa on deck, and I'm popping corks like Sammy But you're kinda different Danny so you'd never make the family Seems like you kind of liked it when Illmac' made you his daddy So Dan plays both ways like Devin Hester at Miami But just cause you're light in your loafers It don't mean that you got nimble feet You incomplete, flimsy geek, you dirty little chimney sweep You try to say you're not gay, but you got us in disbelief Cause you say it in crazy ways, like "I'm straighter than Brittney's teeth" Yo, f**ing...you always collapse into your opponents arms after battles Like y'all were some prize fighters You try that sh** with me, you must be high off a highlighter sh**, Mad Child kissed you after your battle, I was there and I saw it But you didn't even stop it, you just smiled at the camera and nodded You had a sham wedding that was full of battle rappers That's as battle rap as it gets That proves that you're a lonely loser without a real life or any actual friends But Dan always wants to run to his f**ing bar so it hit me I do the polite thing and answer, sh**, even when I'm busy Do the, half listen-fake react to every line like, "filthy!" So if you're wondering who ga**ed Dan up...guilty And one more thing Dan Ah, I was over at your house today like for a couple of hours And to end the round off, just so you know ah, I jerked off in the shower [Round 2: Dirtbag Dan] How y'all feeling Rone so far {cheers} Not me, I'm like "f** that b**h" His whole style is a** cheeks no coco bar and the homie ate peanut fu*k THAT b*tch C'mon man, Ice-T eat your heart out Yo, check it look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look Did I say this motherf**er looked like a bird yet? No? Well you look like a f**ing bird, man I bet his favorite rapper; Birdman His favorite superhero; Birdman His favorite pro skater is Tony Hawk who coincidentally goes by Birdman You're for the birds man, that's a bird's beak, bird teeth, bird hands His favorite basketball player; (Larry Bird) Birdman! Of course cause he thinks that he looks like a bird too If he gets sick, it's the Bird Flu I bet you sh** white, like bird's do I'm 'bout to cook him right now, bird stew I'm Wolfgang Puck, this my kitchen, I'm cooking birds, no pie flipping Watch this bird get battered, no fried chicken B-b-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird is the word Bird Bars b**h! BIRD BARS Got 'em by the flock like we flip Rones instead of pigeons when cops drive the block If I hear this eagle squawk, I'ma let the Eagle talk Yeah, and it don't stop, cause it's 187 on an undercover hawk B-b-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird is the word That's where most people would stop, not me though I go tougher Cause if your mother was a Swallow, then your father was Throatf**er And if your mother's human and she says she didn't f** a bird Then don't trust her cause Rone suffers from having the same bone structure as The Road Runner B-b-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird is the word Bird bars b**h, what the f** you know about it? [Round 3: Rone] So ah, imagine how a gangster feels when they hear a nerd talking some gun business {girl giggles} She liked it, I didn't even get to the punchline, that' beautiful So ah, imagine how a gangster feels when they hear a nerd talking some gun business Well that's exactly how I feel whenever you act like you f** b**hes You are a p**y whipped family man Homemaker is your occupation You would call your wife to apologize if a girl blew...your mind in a conversation But, that's just f**ing Dan though Trying to fill a rap role, why you repping San Jo'? Cause you always sans hoes? You trying to pa** on your family name with no kids of your own to help you Plus your wife called, she has something very impotent to tell you But if you don't have kids why you always at soccer practice? Flashing that short dick right out of a long jacket With the Polaroid snapping trying to capture all the actions And he keeps all the pictures in a pedo-file cabinet You're into child p**n Dan Phones got a child p**n app You got a full beard, but your basement has got a child p**n stash But you ain't like Dan like dangerous, so f** what this man implying You Dan like danish, or dance recital or dandelion You think you could out rap me? But that planning won't work cause Dan on wax is softer than Dan/Dannon yogurt That fo' squirt, wait wait wait, I ain't bring a gun for him I'm here to show your half Mexican side that I'm half Republican So tell your girl, "Me cargo es muy mucho grande largo" You wanna start the Mexican URL Hwwwan Juan Demarco Yo, so, so you a Worm for this battle, so what's the deal Rodman? Is we friends after this? Is we still rocking? You looking tired like a Zanny if you pill popping But if you tired in the clutch that's a wheel/real problem What I say? Tire, clutch, like wheel problem? Like somebody cut my breaks but I'm still riding? They wanna cool me off like say "chill on him" But worm [?] I gotta go Meek Mill on him Light boy there's levels to this sh** There's levels to this sh** You had to buy up to mine so forever you a b**h My game on a plane that you never gonna get So you want a piece of me, you have to settle for my fist Your man is clearly a queen, he isn't scary to me The biggest scam in battle rap since Jon Jon's pyramid scheme For real You said I had balls coming to the Zay What is this guy retarded? We're promo rap sparing, not balling at Boston Garden You're not Frank Lucas, you're just a rapper that s**s You got no pull, you go home to pull up Pampers at lunch Picture him at Christmas, dressed up as f**ing Santa and such Or Thanksgiving, unloading turkeys off the back of a truck This isn't your city Dan, it's just a spot that you chill in You don't run these streets, you just ran around in them as children You go down, no problem, they gon' find an easy fill in So this ain't your city Dan, it's just a spot you getting k**ed in! [Round 3: Dirtbag Dan] Even after all that sh** Adam ain't at all mean like them battle blogs seem But they attract along an avid mob of Adderall fiends Back when you were in college, you wrote them Asher Roth schemes Now it's Thrift Shopping with Macklemore for acid wash jeans I heard him say in a battle, "My music is hitting now" Really?! Your music is hitting now? You're f**ing kidding pal We're both battling for recognition and I'm the only one of us that's sticking out I was on Paid Dues, cause I paid dues I had to campaign to change views People think battle rappers can't make good music and it ain't true b**h, I blame you Why you think your strange a** music videos don't sustain views It's like you're trying to make the perfect soundtrack for white people to play crochet to Let me put it in golf terms so you know what I mean Cause that's something that white people play too When it comes to the game, you're slow to the green Let a real professional play through Gold bars b**h Got 'em back to back to this eagle under par, that's a handicap I'ma pull out the nine, tee off on his birdie When I'm finished, put her back in Caddy's Shack Holy sh**, I said, "Caddy Shack", putter, putter, handicap 100 Bulletz is turning over in his grave right now What the f** are you supposed to say after that? That's a wrap You know what I'm talking about too Cause you said you used to play a few holes after track Scratch that! You said you used to- your coach used to with YOUR holes at the track Rape bars b**h, now we're back to that! Whoo! Full circle baby, we're coming back around I know some cats from Penn State and according to who I spoke to If you get raped in the locker room there it means somebody "Roned" you Be honest homie, that sh** Roned your life Even if you wanna act like nothing happened We know I don't mean up early when I say "Sandusky was up in Adam"/up 'n at em" Rape bars b**h, make some motherf**ing noise!