Direct Hit! - Monster In The Closet lyrics

Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet The door's open even though I've tried to lock it His teeth are long, he's gonna eat me today No matter what you say, I won't be OK, so there Hey hey, won't you just turn out your pocket And gimme something I can put up on the docket A simple strategy for fighting it back It's not like talking to it nice is gonna put it on track Just a stick or a broom that'll help me get it out of the room I don't wanna meet my own doom tonight So hey, just help me out Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet We used some tape and now we're hoping that'll block it Must be a gate into another dimension And now I feel like a moderator in a detention, but now I'm Hey hey, just a picture in a locket Now that it's gone and torn my bones out of their sockets A solemn memory for those who knew best But for the monster in the closet, wasn't even a test So why couldn't you loan me a little help of your own? You couldn't even look in the room to be sure So hey, just help me out Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout Hey, just help me out Lend me an 8-gauge please, put it in my mouth I called, I called your name out loud You never came and it was just the bones they found It didn't leave a single bit of meat Not enough for positive police ID And now I'm gone, gone, gone, don't you regret Never giving me the time you say you'd spend? Sitting by my crackpot a** in bed