(marvin hamlisch/ed kleban) It was then i decided to call the doctor For my appointment to buy what? Tits and a**, shall i buy a fancy pair? Tightened up that derriere Did the nose with it, all that goes with it Tits and a**, you can knock and someone's there Shake the new maracas and you're fine Tits and a**, can change your life Would they change mine Wouldn't cost a fortune, neither Wouldn't hurt my s** life either It's a gas, i have never seen a pair Chorus girl or movie star or wife Tits and a**, oh yeah, t and a Tits and a** can change your life