Deirdre Flint - Past Life Regressed lyrics

I went down to meet my girlfriends for lunch the ones who like to moan and complain about their lives just like me, But when I got there, they were smiling, they were happy, I thought What's up with that?? What the hells up with that? They said we've just come from our past life therapist who took us back to our lives gone by and man they were fine And now we feel okay with our present cause We had one hell of a past And they said: Considering the state of your sad pathetic life, why you must have been Some sort of cultural icon in an era gone by! Great. Thanks. Well, I got myself a session, I lay down on the couch and she said, Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! And my mind it started reeling like some psychedelic drug thing And I found myself in a field (smelling very badly) I heard a grunt and everything went black Well when I came to she said, "You're not going to like this But your past life was spent as an indigent serf And while foraging a meal of roots and potatoes, You were attacked by a wild boar." I said, "Well that sounds a lot like my last blind date, are you sure you didn't get the signals crossed?" She said, "I don't think So." I said, "Well, when I met this tragic, bloody d**h, was I and indigent serf in a satisfying committed relationship?" She said, "No." As if my life weren't bad enough, good lord I'm more depressed Cause I was just some low life peasant, when I past life regressed. She said, "We're going to try this again, usually the best possible Past life comes to the forefront first but maybe there's something wrong with the default mechanism, lets give it another shot. Well, she took me back further and it got more scary I was an ice age chick who ate a deadly berry And I stumbled out of my cave to die alone in the snow. I said, "Well when I was this ice age chick, did I have a man to call mine?" She said, "Honey, when you died you were ten at the time." I said, "Well, they started pretty young back then. . .." She said, "No." As if my life weren't bad enough well now I'm more depressed Cause I was just some low life peasant When I past life regressed I had a friend turns out, she was Cleopatra! I had another friend . . .um . . . she was Cleopatra as well. I had a third friend. . . well, suffice to say PMS around that palace must have been a living hell But I wasn't there. I wasn't anywhere even near that Socioeconomic strata. Well, we kept revisiting my soul as it cycled on down the food chain, and at every point along the spiral I struck out miserably. Until finally, we reached my life as a plant. And i said, "Cross pollination! I'm getting LUCKY tonight!" She said, "You were mugwort. And mugwort reproduces as**ually. (Talk about setting an early precedent for yourself.) As if my life weren't bad enough, well now I'm more depressed Cause I was just some low life peasant A foul smelling ignorant serf An ice age chick probably dug up by some school kids. Even as a DAMN PLANT I couldn't get any action When I past life regressed.