Deadly Ever After - The Fat Man (Clean Version) lyrics

[Hook + Intro] Everybody loves the fat man And oh how the fat man can love (x4) Yo, the fat man, clean, chick Don't mess with me or I'll blow up like a damn landmine And cut in front of a black man in the KFC line Well, at least I even graduated from College Cuz those first twelve grades didn't give me no damn knowledge And you could even set a world record How bout "how many times can you get your head bit off by a golden shepherd" Or "how many offensive things can you put in a rap song" (I don't know, like 25?) Come on, chick, let's all sing-along On stage, the ladies gon' all throw they bras Except for when they realized I broke the law When I took a hiatus from rapping, I got a 9-to-5 You brothers better be glad I'm even alive That was hard, harder than me watching Lauren While she's getting poked by a thorn Eating candy corns, and it's not even Halloween And I thought she was a he when she stood up to take a wee-wee The police siren go wee-wee, let's go There was this one young a** fellow He did a lot of h**n, the name I can't say And he was really mellow, but his brain was gone to mush, like f**ing Jello, he was so gay And his favorite band was N'Sync He would listen to "Bye Bye Bye" while in the skating rink And he would always threaten to snipe me with a heat-seeker And he would smash my damn face on top of a parking meter [Hook] [Verse Two] Did you drink booze and apple juice That's the best mix when you see Tom Green hump a dead moose I hate when I hear someone got arrested Then I think "how many offensive jokes can I make before I get arrested?" And my old house is infested With some rhymes I never had One rhyme was called "I Have A Dad" That sounded sad And if it did, I'm glad I mean, that would be rad What if pouring salt on a snail Would get you 25 to life in jail Everybody hates the fat man But they love the skinny Man, I'm seeing all yellow God damn it, Pooh, The, Winnie Saying gold digger more times than Kanye West When I got a lot on my mind, I just count sheep, I go to rest I don't know what anything means The only thing restoring me is crying myself to sleep My car broke down and I'm walking down the road My luck, I crash the god damn car in drunk mode Then I order a mail order bride that I don't even need Then for the real effect, I do the overload on weed Then I take a real big bite of a Big Mac Breath so f**ing bad you need some kids and a Tic-Tac Doing a rap battle and my opponents so wack This dude's disses be hurting my f**ing back [Hook]