Dax - Suffocating lyrics

[Intro] I'm tired man... Sometimes I just sit in my room and hold my breath And let all the pressure and anxiety build up And just let the time pass by [Verse 1] At first, I couldn't breathe Now I'm suffocating Maybe the pressure from the fame isn't worth what I'm chasing I used to say God's playing, now the devil's on my team acting foul and it's all flagrant Tryna push me off the path that I'm steady paving Sin is the currency and every day I'm making payments I don't wanna live in it but I heard a saying "Good knows evil cuz the houses are both adjacent" I don't know if I should go for these goals I've seen pеople gain the world but lose thеir souls My anxiety is building as the weight of it grows I succumb myself in privacy inside my home And I barely answer calls and when I see my phone I'm reminded that the real feeling of being alone is having millions who love you but can leave you or say that they hate you at the moment they don't fu*k with a song I used to laugh it off Now I hold my breath and suffocate Then I sit and wait just to see if I can kill the hate And as I'm fleeting I see God at the heaven's gates Then come back down to fight another day Then I grab that same phone and smile and wave And pour my empty heart into a song that they won't praise They say patience is the key but they didn't tell me, while I wait I'll be locked inside a steel cage [Verse 2] Something's wrong, I feel claustrophobic I'm stuck living in the past and not the moment Or the future where my life is only more broken Cuz those wounds from the past are still open I take sips of love and every single time it's poison I see Women who can't see past my employment Or see me as enjoyment so I can't enjoy it cuz the ride's temporary and they leave once they crash and destroy it I don't think this life is healthy, why didn't anybody tell me? Everybody want help but nobody wanna help me I'm an ATM, a therapist and everybody's friendly And they hide their real intentions but my mind won't let me If I make a sad song, don't ask me if I'm happy fu*k a hook, my pain isn't catchy If you relate, or worse feel badly, fu*king pity me at least and check in if you at me That's the only way I'll know who it touches That's why I stay awake and answer DMs by the hundreds So I don't lose myself and fill my stomach with the feeling that I'm here just to suffocate for nothing If you know real pain then you see it when you look me in my eyes I try to hide it but they do not lie I wanna sleep but if I try, the demons who creep in my dreams will collide So I stay up and I stare at the ceiling And ask myself if I should even share these feelings Then I hear a voice in the distance from a ghost-like image Saying my pain could be somebody's healing [Outro] So I close my eyes and drift to the place that inspires these lyrics And as I see flames and I scream, I pray it's a place you'll never have to visit