[MURIEL] LAST NIGHT I MET A MAN BENEATH A PALE AND HAUNTING MOON A MAN NO WOMAN COULD REFUSE BOLD AND ASSERTIVE WITH A FURTIVE AIR OF MYSTERY MAGICALLY LONG OF LASH, TRAGICALLY SHORT OF CASH AS HE APPROACHED HE WORE AN AURA OF NOBILITY. I WORE THESE FERRAGAMO SHOES THIS WAS AT LAST, I KNEW, MY RENDEZVOUS WITH HISTORY WHAT WAS A WOMAN, WHAT WAS A WOMAN TO DO? AND WHEN HE SMILED HE LIT THE NIGHT WITH GRACE AND CONFIDENCE HIS TEETH WERE CLEAN AND STRAIGHT AND WHITE JUST LIKE A PICKET FENCE I COULDN'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THEM- THEY WERE THAT INTENSE WHAT WAS A WOMAN, WHAT WAS A WOMAN TO DO? I NEVER REALIZED HOW LONG MY HEART HAD BEEN IGNORED HE SANG MY NAME AND IT RANG OUT JUST LIKE SOME MAJOR CHORD IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE, HE ATE MY SMORGASBORD WHAT WAS A WOMAN- [WOMAN #1] WHAT WAS A WOMAN- [WOMAN #2] WHAT WAS A WOMAN TO DO? [MURIEL and WOMEN] LAST NIGHT I MET A PRINCE AND SUDDENLY MY LIFE HAS CHANGED- I HAVE A PURPOSE AND A CAUSE (TO HELP MY DREAMY ROYAL BOYFRIEND) [MURIEL] HE'S OFF REBELLING, AND I'M KNEVLING HERE, BUT NEVER MIND [WOMAN #2] HE'S JUST SO- OOOH! [WOMAN #3] SO SUAVE IT MAKES YOU MENTAL [MURIEL] SO GODDAMN CONTINENTAL [MURIEL and WOMEN] WHO'D GUESS THAT'D I'D BE THE ONLY ONE TO WHOM HE'D TURN- THIS MAN OF BRIO AND PANACHE [MURIEL] HE GAVE ME ROMANCE AND THE FEELING I WAS YOUNG AGAIN [WOMAN #1] I GAVE HIM HOPE AND STRENGTH AND- [WOMEN] A CHECK MADE OUT TO CASH [USHERETTE] HE HAD THE MOST AMAZING EYES THAT I HAD EVER SEEN HE CAME IN WITH A TICKET FOR THE SECOND MEZZANINE I RIPPED IT UP AND PUT IT RIGHT DOWN THERE IN J-13 [MURIEL] Oh, for God sakes! Anybody else? [USHERETTE] WHAT WAS A WOMAN- [WOMEN] WHAT WAS A WOMAN- [MURIEL] WHAT WAS A WOMAN TO DO?