I met a girl from Asia and I give her all she eats I froze her in my freezer next to my uneaten meats I don't care what rules she breaks as long as she's home by nine The trenchcoat men and their slicked back hair are no business of mine Any time you want a peek just cue up next in line I'm letting children in all week only for just a dime Babies floating in a jar of bathtub wine And a beast with two young backs eating old pickle brine At least until college I'm stuck with the knowledge That you can do all the things that I can't do And when you take over that's when I'll makeover my face And shave off my beard