Dave Malloy - Natasha Lost lyrics

[NATASHA] I smile, I shake And the opera continues And I'm quite submissive to the world I am in My previous life is slipping away from me My distant past is gone, is gone And the rest of the night I can't take my eyes from him His glittering eyes And his tender smile And as I am leaving Flushed and nervous He touches my arm And I turn around And he's looking at me With his glittering eyes And his tender smile O God! I am lost! How could I let him? Everything is dark, obscure, and terrible I don't understand this Oh God, I am lost! Back in the theater, full of lights Where tenors jumped about in tinsel jackets Young girls and old men cried “Bravo!” in rapture There it all seemed simple But now, alone, I am tortured My conscience gnaws away at my heart Am I spoiled for Andrey's love or not? Oh, I can soothe myself with irony: Nothing! It was nothing I didn't lead him on at all No one will ever know I'll never see him again Nothing has happened And Andrey can love me still Oh, God, why isn't he here? And yet it was like there was nothing between us No veil, no modesty Just his face and strong hands His glittering eyes And his tender smile That bold handsome man who pressed my arm