Dave Malloy - Bad Men lyrics

[BRENT] Side 3, Track 3. “Bad Men.” [BRITTAIN (Dunyazad)] Scheherazade was ending the story for the night: [GELSEY (Scheherazade)] “AND SO ROSE LEFT THE SHOP WITH A BRAND NEW CAMERA AND THE NUMBER OF THE SUBWAY DRIVER WRITTEN ON HER ARM” BUT NOW THE SUN IS RISING AND THAT IS ALL I AM PERMITTED TO SAY Do you like my story, Shah Zaman? [BRENT (Shah Zaman)] It is a marvelous tale! [BRITTAIN] WHAT A GOOD, SWEET STORY IT IS! YOU ARE A REAL SCHEHERAZADE [GELSEY] HOW CAN THIS COMPARE TO THE STORY I SHALL TELL YOU TOMORROW NIGHT IF THE SHAH SPARES ME AND I AM STILL ALIVE? [BRENT] When I k** you, I will miss you. [GELSEY] How will you grieve for me, O Shah? [BRENT] I WILL COMMAND A GREAT FEAST FOR THE KINGDOM WITH THE LARGEST BOAR THAT THE COURT HAS EVER SEEN AND GREAT OAKEN CASKS FULL OF HONEY SWEET WINE AND WE'LL TOAST TO THE COULD-HAVE-BEEN QUEEN AND WHEN THE FEAST IS IN FULL SWING AND THE bu*tERFLY JESTERS ARE DANCING I WILL TAKE THE LARGEST CASK BACK TO MY ROOM AND I'LL DRINK ALL ALONE IN MY ROOM AND I'LL CRY LIKE A BABY AND I'LL DRINK SO MUCH I'LL GET SICK AND I'LL LIE ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR AND I'LL DRINK SOME MORE AND I'LL KEEP DRINKING FOR FORTY-TWO YEARS AN OLD OLD MAN ALL ALONE IN HIS CHAIR WATCHING GAME SHOWS MAKING FUN OF THE CONTESTANTS FOR THEIR STUPID ANSWERS AND THEIR WASTED LIVES [BRITTAIN & GELSEY] A WASTED SACK OF A MAN AN EMPTY BROWN PAPER BAG SOGGY AND GROSS [BRENT] IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND [ALL] IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND [DAVE] COME LOOK AT THE STARS DEAR PEARL COME LOOK AT THE STARS DEAR PEARL [BRITTAIN (Rose Red)] How could you. Sister, how could you? [GELSEY (Pearl White)] He likes my singing. He likes my singing, that's all. [DAVE] Wait, wait, Rose Red, we were never— We never— [BRITTAIN] I always knew you were shallow I always knew you didn't know me I always knew you didn't believe in me I always knew that I bored you I always knew I wasn't pretty enough to hold you I always knew you'd go with someone smarter than me I always knew your mind was elsewhere I always knew you were a snob I always knew you had your head in the stars I always knew you and your books You and your f**ing books I am not a puzzle I'm not some f**ing logic puzzle for you to figure out I am not a f**ing game Why don't you just go f** your books? Why don't you just go f** all your f**ing books? And we'll see who's smarter We'll see [BRENT (Bear)] Do you have the things I asked for? One Pot of Honey One Piece of Stardust One Secret Baptism And a Photo of a Ghost? [BRITTAIN] HELLO THERE BEAR I HAVE THE THINGS YOU ASKED I HAD TO GO THROUGH SEVERAL LIFETIMES TO GET THEM AND NOW I'M IN YOUR CAVE IN MY SEXY RED CLOAK [BRENT] I KNOW LITTLE GIRL AND NOW I'M GONNA EAT YOU UP EAT YOU UP EAT YOU UP LIKE BERRIES [BRITTAIN] BUT WILL YOU DO WHAT I ASKED? MAUL THE ASTRONOMER TURN MY SISTER INTO A CROW? [BRENT] I AM NOT A MURDERER OR A CRAZY PERSON I JUST LIKE HONEY [GELSEY & DAVE] HE JUST LIKES HONEY [BRENT] YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF! NOW GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL [BRITTAIN] I HATE YOU [ALL] THE DRIVER CAN'T STOP THE GHOST IS HERE THE DRIVER CAN'T STOP THE GHOST IS HERE Side 3, Track 4. “Usher, Part 3” 2-3-4...