Dave Cohen - Henry VII: The Original Tu-Tu-Tudor lyrics

[HENRY VII] Of all the kings called Henry I'm the one you've rarely heard Shakespeare wrote four, five, six, eight But seven not a word People think I'm dreary To some extent I am But look a little closer Glam, bam, thank you, mam! I didn't agree with King Richard three, So I fought him at Bosworth field and won, victory! How cool does it sound that I'm the king who found Richard's crown in a hedge on the winning battle ground The only way to end war and avert further disaster There's got to be a way to unite York and Lancaster I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor Founder of that dynasty The man who closes the Wars of the Roses That's right, that's right, that's me! I launched attacks on lords who earned stacks Mine was a noble cause to tap them all for tax They paid their share, was only fair To make England rich and me a millionaire Elizabeth York became my wife for life, that make me a bore? Joined our family seats, that's neat, and made my rule secure I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor Returning power to the state It seemed quite toothless but actually ruthless I made the monarchy great Spent a long time fighting pretenders to the throne Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck said my throne was their own They claimed they'd been the princes, in the tower their rule delayed I said 'this crown ain't big enough for the three of us' And had one slayed I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor King of foreign policy To end hostile relations with enemy nations I asked them a-make friends with me Yeah, the original ch-ch-ch Tudor They say dullness my main trait Well, that's a sad endightment 'Cause if you're looking for excitement My son was Henry VIII