Darren Evans - As Good As It Gets lyrics

[Chef] We got a snazzy, new room With two whole benches It's practically rodent-free We got expensive perfume For all our stenches As swellegant as can be And with these pointy, new shoes To walk through mud in Fancy silk squares to cough up blood in Baby, let's face it This is as good as it gets [Gwynne] I suppose it is rather nice We got the cla**ier type of bedbug species Between our new burlap sheets [Chef] We got a custom-made pipe That dumps our feces On one of the nicer streets Gwynne: And when there's something amiss Inside our breeches [Chef] Our barber applies his fattest leeches Gwynne: Why not embrace it? [Chef + Gwynne] This is as good as it gets [Chef] We're part of the upper lower cla** now [Gwynne] Sickly, yet oh-so chic [Chef] Our gla** is half-full [Gwynne] We own a gla** now [Chef] We bathe once a week Gwynne: Well, “bathe,” so to speak [Chef + Gwynne] And as our station in life keeps growing stronger We're growing in more ways, too [Gwynne] I think my tapeworm is, like, a whole foot longer [Chef] By now I might have a few [Chef + Gwynne] And though our breath and our teeth may still be rotten Together, just look how far we've gotten [Chef] Baby, we made it [Gwynne] Totally slayed it [Chef + Gwynne] Why would we trade it? This is... As good as it ge-e-e-e-e-e-ts