Darby O'Gill - Old Mary Catherine Bridgette O'Gill lyrics

Old Mary Catherine Bridgette OGill Tortures me daily as old women will I wish I were single for all o me life But old Mary Catherine OGill is me wife When I was a young man, more foolish than wise A young woman caught me by stealth and surprise By means of seduction, rye whiskey and gin She opened her gate and she soon let me in Her father came at me full sore with his gun And me, bein up in me cups, couldn't run He offered a choice of the chapel or jail Or else I could keep all his shot in me tail Now Im a farmer all bent by the plough And livin me life by the sweat of me brow I never bemoan and I never complain And old Mary Catherine OGill is to blame But if I were a sailor and a long way from home Tied at Bermuda, the ports for to roam Thered be none but them foreign women for me For I hear that theres plenty o fish in that sea If I were a lawyer for poor folk and such Id win all me cases, Id charge way too much Id tuck all my money up under my bed Then Id get out me gun and Id shoot off me head If I could play baseball American style With one swing of the bat, Id knock it a mile Me fans would go crazy, me Da would be proud As I scratched meself fondly in front of the crowd (Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd) If we were musicians in a real Irish band That would be fabulous, wondrous grand Sometimes wed get drunk, sometimes wed get paid Sometimes wed get lucky, sometimes wed get laid Now if youre not married Ill give some advice Dont ever propose and dont even think twice Dont ever get married by threat or by force For the only way out is by d**h or divorce