Danny Michel - Whale of a Tale lyrics

I used to drive a race car, but I won every single time I once met the great Elvis Presley way back in his prime And the pilot had a heart attack, yeah, so I had to land the plane And I once saved a little kid from drownin', and I invented cellophane I used to be a millionaire, I'd drop a thousand bucks a day That only made me all the more lonely so I threw it all away And I've lived almost everywhere, probably right in your own neighbourhood I once broke out of prison and I hid out in the woods It was there that I discovered a dinosaur, and I'd drive a blue Corvette I once swam clear across Lake Erie without even getting wet I'm the guy who saved the show 'cause I know how to fix a fuse Are these pretzels complimentary? Well, I don't mind if I do I used to play the guitar myself 'till a press crushed my hand Have you heard of the great Otis Redding? Well, I played in his band I once worked as a miner; I was an actor for a little while off in France And my uncle's cousin's brother taught Fred Astaire to dance So if you ask me how to tango I'll wear down any rug Cause if you've seen the way those kids all dance today I swear they're all on d** I could me a million drinks if a million drinks did appear But I only got enough for one more little beer