She's always ready for the worst of news And she's hoping it may be you She knows all the scuttlebu*t about the whatnot That she doesn't want forgot Rumor is a wind that blows so smart It doesn't even know who you are She's standing there waiting at the top of the stairs With her eyes fixed on you like glue Where are you going now and where have you been? What is your latest sin? She's into the big time; she reads the National Enquirer She stretches the truth with such imagination She's more of a writer than a liar