Sad Sac and Tarzan Walking up at the mall Up walked a girlfriend Said, "You had the gall to bring my name up again" Looking for salvation We had an ice cream soda I said, "Have you ever wondered what became of Uncle Bill?" We was peeling potatoes Back in World War II And we was playing that rock and roll After school for you-know-who Hidden from the public It was behind the scenes There was a relic They called the purple hare I was eating a taco I looked across the room I saw a girl in a red dress She said she'd like to do me in I left the waiter a tip I scrambled for the door Said, "You might have loved me, but now there's nothing more" She's always on my trail She really likes to k** I keep her lovely picture on my window sill I was just a cowboy without a show I was like the kind of guy you never really know You won't forget me No matter how hard you try And when it's my time to go I'll wave goodbye Sing yourself a melody Cry a tear of joy