Dan Squire - The Bare Hare lyrics

In a land called Ontario there lived a little hare But the trouble with this hare was she hadn't any hair And so I guess you could say that the hare was bare So she stayed home in the winter and she slept in her lair When the bare hare reared her head, and smelt the air Of the crisp, rare spring, well she dug down where she'd buried A pair of potatoes, or in French, some pommes-de-terre But she wasn't in Quebec, so they were just potatoes But where the spare taters were buried, they weren't there They'd been found by a scary bear, who wouldn't share So now the bear had the potatoes, and it had hair Which the bare hare did declare was unfair Now the bare hare developed an air of despair She was scared of the hairy bear, who wouldn't share But she needed that pair of pommes-de-terre stolen there So she headed out after the unaware bear I forgot to mention earlier that the hare's name was Claire And Claire went and set a snare for the hairy scary bear And the hairy scary bear was ensnared there, in Claire's hairy scary bear snare And she said “LOL – you've been impaired by a bare hare called Claire!” So the bear looked at the hare and he said, so debonair “What's your surname, Claire, the bare hare with no hair?” And the hare gave him a stare and said, “Sir, it's O'Hare My grandfather was Irish and I'm proud of my hare-itage.” And the bear said; “Hi there Claire O'Hare, the hare who's hair is barely there I'm a hairy scary bear with a pair of pommes-de-terre to spare Now you've snared me in your snare, so it seems only fair to share But remember with potatoes just take care, that's right, beware Undercooked potatoes contain glycoalkaloids Which are poisonous and really you should try to avoid Just put them in boiling water for half an hour, check they're soft And you'll have a lovely carbohydrate snack you can scoff Now I know you think this is unlikely advice – I'm a bear But the fact is I've become quite adept with kitchenware And it's from a health standpoint that I'm telling you this I graduated as a fully qualified nutritionist The end. If you're wondering what happened next, the bare hare and the hairy bear started a love affair, which, based on their multi-mammalian genetics, resulted in some bare hares, hairy bears, bare bears, and hairy hares, barely hairy bears, very hairy hares and several hairy Care-Bears So there you go