Dan Deacon - World of Hair lyrics

Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now Kaiser: Yes, police commissioner? Police Commisioner: There's a knight hiding Kaiser: Like a knight in shining armor? Police Commisioner: There's a knight hiding in my room Kaiser: Have you seen the knight? Police Commisioner: No, but every now and again, I hear him scraping his blade agon the floor, cackling Kaiser: Well, if you haven't seen him, I don't understand how you know that it's a knight Police Commisioner: I can hear the clinking of metal as he scurries behind desk to cabinet Kaiser: I think that's probably just the pipes Police Commisioner: It's certainly n- I found a big fanciful feather that fell out of his cap Kaiser: A f- I don't- knights don't have feathers Police Commisioner: How could you deny that? Kaiser: I, I- Police Commisioner: Look at this feather Kaiser: Ok, police commissioner- Police Commisioner: Imagine it adorned on top of a metal helmet, riding on an armored horse Kaiser: He- Police Commisioner: Hiding in my office Kaiser: Tonight I'll pick up some- Police Commisioner: I know you can hear us Kaiser: Tonight I'll pick up some- Police Commisioner: I know you're out there Kaiser: I'll get some knight traps Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now Kaiser: Yes, police commissioner Police Commisioner: I put a bird in this glue. Look at it. Look how pathetic it is Kaiser: This is just cruel, why are we doing this, police commisioner, this is horrible- Police Commisioner: You have nothing to do with it. Shut up Kaiser: *laughs* I don't- I- can I- Police Commisioner: Get out Kaiser: I- thank you Police Commisioner: Turn off the lights Kaiser: I think I'm going to report you Police Commisioner: Turn the lights off Kaiser: I think I'm definitely reporting you to someone Police Commisioner: Get back here Kaiser: What? What Police Commisioner: Get back here Kaiser: What? What? Just What? Police Commisioner: Look how pathetic it is Kaiser: I don't wanna look at how pathetic it is. This is horrible. What a terrible thing Police Commisioner: *laughs* Kaiser: And you're just laughing. I- I am going to my own office- Police Commisioner: No, no, come here Kaiser: And I'm- Police Commisioner: Shut up! Shut up Kaiser: Stop telling me to shut up Police Commisioner: Put your hand on the table and close your eyes Kaiser: No I am certainly not going to do that Police Commisioner: Come on Kaiser: No! Just, gluing a bird. I'm not doing this. No way Police Commisioner: Look at it Kaiser: I don't- no. No. No! Thank you Police Commisioner: He'll never fly again Kaiser: I say good-day Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now Kaiser: Yes police commissioner Police Commisioner: This coat fit me properly? Kaiser: Yea I think you look pretty good Police Commisioner: I can't figure out if its- Part of- can you- come on Kaiser: Yea I'll help. Here we go Police Commisioner: Mm mm Kaiser: There you are Police Commisioner: Ah Kaiser: How's that? Police Commisioner: Ah, ah Kaiser: Okay. Alright Police Commisioner: Kaiser I want you in my office pronto Kaiser: Yes police commissioner Police Commisioner: Holy moley do I got a funny joke for you Kaiser: Oh tell it too me, I could use a funny joke Police Commisioner: Alright Kaiser: What is it? Police Commisioner: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk Kaiser: What are you gonna do? Police Commisioner: Just do it Kaiser: I don't know if this is a good idea Police Commisioner: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk Kaiser: I think this is a joke on me and I don't wanna- Police Commisioner: Trust me, trust me Kaiser: *moans* Police Commisioner: You're alright, you're eyes closed tight? Kaiser: Yea *bang* Kaiser: Mother f**er! Why the f** did you do that? Police Commisioner: *laughs* I hit your hand with this hammer Kaiser: Yea why the f- that's not funny. Screw you police commissioner. Listen, listen, I resign Police Commisioner: No way Kaiser: I- I'm gonna write a letter of resignation right now Police Commisioner: You're hired Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now Kaiser: Yes police commissioner Police Commisioner: Look how big that is Kaiser: Yea that is big Police Commisioner: I can't believe how big that is Kaiser: That is really really big Police Commisioner: Wow Kaiser: I don't even know how they got it in here Police Commisioner: I don't even know what it is Kaiser: What are you gonna do with it Police Commisioner: I don't know. Maybe, um. How warm do you think it is? Kaiser: I dunno. It looks pretty warm Police Commisioner: It looks pretty warm Kaiser: Yea Police Commisioner: Touch it with your- touch it with your skin Kaiser: What? Police Commisioner: Touch it with your skin a little bit Kaiser: I- why don't you touch it with your skin? Police Commisioner: I've- Ive been doing it for hours before you got in here. Wh- Touch it witch your skin Kaiser: Well what was it doing to your skin? Police Commisioner: Nothing Kaiser: It was doing nothing to your skin? Police Commisioner: Nothing at all. Touch it Kaiser: Are you lying to me police commissioner? Police Commisioner: No, no Kaiser: Why do you want me to touch it Police Commisioner: Touch it with your skin Kaiser: I don't think I'm gonna do that Police Commisioner: Touch it with some of your skin Kaiser: No listen, I gotta get to work. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be done. I'm not gonna touch that with my skin Police Commisioner: Bokork Kaiser: Are you calling me chicken? Police Commisioner: No. Come on me Kaiser: Thank you Police Commisioner: Kaiser get in here right now Kaiser: What is it police commissioner? Police Commisioner: My hands are turning into some sort of cream Kaiser: Your hands are turning into a cream? Police Commisioner: Oh I can just tell Kaiser: Well did you eat anything? Police Commisioner: When I woke up in the morning I saw huge cream Kaiser: you saw a cream? Police Commisioner: In my hands- Kaiser: Well maybe its not that your hands are turning into cream, maybe you just had some cream on your hands Police Commisioner: No you don't see Kaiser: You've used all the sea? Police Commisioner: You