Dan Bull - BROCCOLI BARS 2: RUGBUGGERY lyrics

[Intro] Hello, it's Dan Bull Some of you know this already but a while ago I was diagnosed with quite a severe allergy to Broccoli But uh, quite a bit of time has pa**ed since then and I might have developed an immunity Let's find out That's all right [Verse 1] They call me Douglby I tackle issues like ruggleby A blend of gentlemanliness and thuggery I'll gla** you with some very expensive bubbly Bloody luxury Bone cutlery protrudes from your wounds Buggery Ooh! A scrummage Lovely jubbly A useful excuse to induce you to cuddle me The two teams squeeze together quite snugly Rummaging and fumbling with undiscovered subtlety Beneath the scrummaging we're being all couply I'm roughly as politically correct as little Huckleberry Finn using epithets No longer customary I'll get with your ex then apply for custody Of your little buggers then we'll bugger off to Tuscany I'm in your cuff links and tux living comfortably Bloody luxury, being you - s**s to being [Chorus] Whether you rap Whether you rock Or whether you roll I insist that you relinquish all control We're playing rugby and the ball's your soul So pa** it back to Dougbly and we'll all go home [Verse 2] Rap's raconteur back on tour I'll blap a crap reviewer Sacre bleu That's one fewer wrongdoer I'm long due an apology And I want you to give one to me If you ever listened to a rapper And it wasn't me I'll pull off my trackie bottoms And give you a tracheotomy I'll leave you looking like a child eating broccoli Ticking you off saying "Chew your food properly" I operate a strict sick lyrics only policy So originality's a pretty big priority I lyrically precede the Iliad and Odyssey They found my lyric pad within a Celtic monastery Follow Gilgamesh's geneology through ptolemy Anyone of quality, they probably just copied me So are my sonnets prophecy or an anomaly? A little bit of column A, a bit of column B [Chorus] Whether you rap Whether you rock Or whether you roll I insist that you relinquish all control We're playing rugby and the ball's your soul So pa** it back to Dougbly and we'll all go home