Dan Bull - CALL OF JUAREZ: GUNSLINGER RAP lyrics

[Intro] Listen up, brother Got a little rhyme for you But I gotta tell you I ain't no durn singer I'm a gunslinger [Verse 1] Who's a better gunslinger? That's a humdinger Blood blister on my one finger from triggers And I don't hunt deer So chump, here's something I'd like to advise Better run for your life if you'd like to survive in the frontier It's like you drunk beer, brain ain't configured A word to the wise and your mind will become clear Bright as the lights on the rides of a fun fair So come bring your Jesse James and Billy the Kid I'll make a mess of their brains and fill 'em with lead And I will until every damn villain is dead Then I'm bringin' the sheriff a bag full of their heads Handlin' any man that is plannin' to stand in my path Because I'm heavy-handed with every bandit I wrangle with And we're in a century that hasn't any ambulances So best pack your best brandy and bandages When I'm rat-a-tat-tattin' on my gatling guns The blast attacks faster than my battlin' puns A lemat in my one hand and another in my other So get runnin' for cover, you would you rather be buggered? Shots, I'm lickin' off like the sugar on my cherry strudel I'm quick on the draw, call me Mary Doodles I'm gettin' reward money to bury people And as a result, I never need to be very frugal 'Less you want your tooth pulled, pay the dentist I make rackets as if it's an angry game of tennis Don't hate the player, no, hate the business I make a livin' from wanted posters: Jay McGuiness [Hook] Forget a hook I ain't no durn singer Brother, look I'm just a gunslinger So forget a hook I ain't no durn singer Brother, look [Verse 2] I'm just gonna get some dynamite and then I'll light my pipe And when the timing's right, I'll set the skies alight Kind of like Juarez calls for Silas Greaves to make you fall like a pile of leaves Shootin' line after line after line of thieves And I've touched more gold than a miner's sleeves When I wield dual revolvers, you'll feel the coldness Once in a blue moon, I'm using my holsters Shootin' my colt, I'm too sk**ed to falter Is it any wonder saloons here are closed? When you bring a whole platoon filled with soldiers I barbecue fools, a new meal for vultures High noon, we're overdue for elevenses I left the saloon, it was strewn with your severed limbs Bringin' just a shoe to a shootout To kick your booty so brutally, you'll never get my boot out [Hook] Forget a hook I ain't no durn singer Brother, look I'm just a gunslinger So forget a hook I ain't no durn singer Brother, look I'm just a gunslinger [Outro] I'm just a mean-a** gunslinger And I guess that's all I'll ever be But lemme tell you That's all I ever wanna be A mean-a** gunslinger, pardner Beg your pardon, ma'am