[Intro] Dear David Cameron [Verse 1] You want us to admit if p**n's something we're interested in? I've never heard a more intrusive line of questioning There's a lot of chaps with no-one to put their erection in You've put the onus on their bo*ers to come and confess the thing Despite its popularity, the silence will be deafening Censorship is not the method to mop up the mess we're in Next you'll be suggesting police kettling Any people sending text messages with three Xs in Will I still be free to see 'The Exorcist'? Cause there's a crucifix in that and a tween having s** with it If not, what's the difference between an adult actress And a thespian in a s**ually-packed script? You plan to block pages with a blacklist So if I say "rape", does it mean I can't rap this? In terms of s**ual deviance, the Tories have had practice Dave, I've seen the stains on your Brasenose mattress And it's ironic you're proposing a p**n ban, cause You're considered one of Britain's biggest wa*kers [William Hague] Human rights are universal Cultural differences are not an excuse to water down human rights Nor can the exploitation of digital networks by criminals or terrorists Be a justification for states to censor their citizens [Hook] "But think of the children! Think of the children! A free and open internet's probably gonna k** them! Think of the children! Think of the children! A free and open internet's probably gonna k** them!" [Verse 2] Mate, rape fantasies are a common obsession But actually being a rapist is not a logical progression To beat abuse, you should use a new weapon Like battling the stigma for people when confessing That they've been molested, or beaten senseless The way that they're treated by police is horrendous Some of us understand, Louise Mensch does The consensus is that your dumb plan's defenseless Tories are all about family responsibility So your proposal seems silly to me Serious criminals don't use Bing They use P2P and darknet webrings China's blacklist accuracy couldn't be lower It's like trying to trim your 'fro with a mower When has censorship ever fixed a problem? Yeah, it's not like North Korea's got them But if that's the kind of thing for which you're clamouring Do you mind if I refer to you as Kim-Jong Cameron? [Hook] [Outro] If you can't say "f**", you can't say "fu*k DAVID CAMERON WITH A PIECE OF SLIGHTLY UNDERCOOKED BROCCOLI!"