Dan Bull - I sold myself on eBay lyrics

[Preamble] Ahem Let me spin you a little yarn Weave a tale or two If you know what I mean [Verse 1] I cut you no slack, this is a bossa nova throwback Brought to you in a**ociation with paramount sew-vac The local business where snitches can go to get their stitches Without the need for extortionate medical a**istance [Chorus] Re-read the text, I'll hide a load of sewing puns While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns If you're having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son I've got 99 problems, but a stitch ain't... one P-p-paramount Sewing P-paramount P-p-p-paramount Sewing P-paramount [Verse 2] You probably never heard of me I like to do embroidery It's a whole other side of me You've cottoned onto finally It's not my fault, the bottom line is That I'm dressed to jest, it's prolly best You swap your polyester vest for the warp and weft Of a razzle dazzle fab upholstery Tweed suits like Basil Fawlty It seems you need to work on your self esteem You're acting salty Grab a haberdashery, then add a dash of me That's a fantastic patterned lavish fabric tapestry Imagine Al Pacino in alpaca chinos Strollin' out of the casino Down to paramount cause he knows His clothes need loads of work To stay lookin' superior Who woulda thought that such a notion would be real But here we are! [Chorus] Re-read the text, I'll hide a load of sewing puns While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns If you're having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son I've got 99 problems, but a stitch ain't... one P-p-paramount Sewing P-paramount P-p-p-paramount Sewing P-paramount [Verse 3] Whether made of tweed, fleece, linen, crepe, brocade or knitted Whatever way I spin these lyrics I guarantee that they are tailor fitted To the beat, even if you think I skipped it I bring that thread back through the needle On the groove sits in I'm in the pocket, you're bobbin' your head Til I ruffle your feathers And pull you together, like cotton and thread Like a dressmaker My fingers are deft, nimble No frills, it's dead simple I am a thex thimble I am the oddest spitter, lyrical bodice ripper Not cause I'm hot, but cause I can't undo the bloody zipper Do me a favor, would you, buddy? Run and get the scissors But don't run back with them Or you'll be cut to bloody ribbons [Chorus x 2] Re-read the text, I'll hide a load of sewing puns While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns If you're having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son I've got 99 problems, but a stitch ain't... one Re-read the text, I'll hide a load of sewing puns While other rappers are just millin' about, showing guns If you're having sewing problems, I feel bad for you, son I've got 99 problems, but a stitch ain't... one P-p-paramount Sewing