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Dan Bull - Facebook Epic Rap lyrics

[Verse 1]
I log onto Facebook sometimes
And it's telling me your gallery's updated but five
Hundred of your pictures are the same, it looks like
You're pissed up every day with your mates at club nights
And I hate to be uptight, but I just find
It a shame you're afraid of the sunlight
And why do people never quite look like
Their profile picture they pick for the front?
Why it's funny what the camera does to you
That must be why you're stood by someone fatter and uglier
So you look better in comparison, but it's apparent that
You're shallow and that that's what you've done here
Nah - you look absolutely fabulous
So let's have a game of Scrabulous
Mafia Wars! Mafia Wars!
How many times do I have to click ignore?
I didn't want to play it when you asked me before
So what the hell are you still asking me for?
If only there was an application
That let me smash your face in

600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss
Or is there something I've missed?

[Verse 2]
Attempting a Facebook Chat's neverending
It says this forever: "sending... sending..."
Exactly after you've said something
Regretful it's essential it gets corrected
Like: I was chatting to my friend and said this
"Let's get together, for a bevvy this weekend, Chris"
But cos it only sent the first section
He gets the impression there's s**ual tension
Now there's an extra dimension to friendship
I didn't expect, and flipping heck did I mention
I hate the rate of your inane status updates
I couldn't give a (pop) you've just baked some cupcakes
If you wouldn't tell me in the pub to my face
Why would I want it cluttering my front page?
Some days I'm amazed to witness
The sh**ness of other people's daily business
And I'm sick with these lazy idiots:
[Lyrics from: https:/]
"I lost my phone, can you post up your digits?"
They say if it exists, there's p**n of it
Well now there's also a Facebook wall for it
"If a million people join this group
Then I'll call my first born boy Sue"
"Oi you, are you coming to my concert?"
"Well I would, but I'm on another continent"
Every time I log on there's a berk
Who's certain he's an entrepeneur. Sir
You don't understand, I won't become a fan
Of your club promoter brand or Stones cover band
If you're looking for fans you need another plan
Stop spamming us with your rubbish ads
On the other hand, if you're watching this
Click on the link and become a fan of Dan


[Verse 3]
It must be productively harmful
When there's less farmers on farms than on Farmville
"I'm milking a cash cow for sheep, wanna buy some?"
I'm thrilled, can you see my excitement?
These ads are leaving me frightened
How can they see I need my teeth whitened?
Now the security's been tightened
It's even easier to peek at your private
Details, "just provide us your e-mail
We'll make your penis three times the size"
And hiding's not an option, this is social
Global is the new local
Applications, invitations
Poking, open relations
If it's a complicated situation
You won't fix it with switching your status
Suggesting I add a lad that went to my cla**
I haven't met since reception, why dredge up the past?
"We should reconnect, we haven't spoke in a while"
I know, that's cause I find you totally vile
If we met now, we'd both run a mile
So why's this bloke on my file?
Next time I'm asked "what's on my mind?"
I might just click in the box and reply:


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