Dan Avidan - Epic Rap Battle: Nerd vs. Geek lyrics

[Nerd] Yes, I am a nerd Bookworm, I'm studious From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus Back in Kindergarten I aced my college entrance exam Now, I'm no rocket scientist – Oh wait, I am When I pour my Alpha-bits I get nothing but straight A's My retainer and headgear connect To a back brace I've got a pocket-protector protector protector I broke my gla**es on purpose so I could tape ‘em together Run back to Reddit And type stuff no one will see You're a geek That means you're just a hipster wannabe [Geek] That's right, I'm a geek I've got brains,and a personality I wear my gla**es sincerely And my T-Shirts ironically There're some things you can't learn in a cla** Or else I'd sign you up for “Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast” You're just so early 2013 I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux Too bad there's no app to neutralize your B.O While you're lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long I'll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom [Nerd] Sure, grooming's not my thing But I don't care I look so good in chain-mail That it's not Renaissance Faire [Geek] Doesn't LARP stand for loser and reject party? I'd rather cosplay with hotties Than play fake army I tried Dungeons and Dragons once And I died . . . of boredom But I'll still kick your Assa**in's Creed post-mortem Mario Party's the only one you get invited to Your life is like Skyrim An endless quest of Solitude [Nerd] Ooo, you beat Angry Birds You're not a gamer ‘cause you battle your friends with words You click on cute icons I execute commands Do you really need a “genius” to teach you Garage Band? [Geek] I landed the first ROFLCOPTER And took in orphans when I was 12 ‘cause I'm an early adopter I can wear Google Gla** without looking like a dweeb Okay, maybe not, but I can Yelp us some good pho to eat [Nerd] You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs Doc?! I keep an actual ram in my PC! His name is Spock [Geek] I'm a new console Your face is birth control I troll Brony sites You look like an actual troll [Nerd] I'm fluent in C++ [std::cout << “You just s**! \n”;\] Can your iPhone auto-correct your dumb haircut? [Geek] Hold on a second Let me tweet this info-graphic I made That illustrates the fact you'll never get to procreate [Nerd] I just haven't met a woman of a high enough caliber The only dates you have are on your Google Calendar [Geek] You're losing this battle Your foam sword won't help In the future you'll randomly access this memory And crap yourself [Nerd] Did I mention I built a dancing robot? [Robot] No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans Do you even know what URL means? [Geek] You don't know what you're Tolkien about (Sung in Elvish) Much wind pours from your mouth you cowardly dog! You are ugly, and your mother dresses you Go kiss an Orc [Nerd] You know [Both] You are a cla**ic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain!