Damon Intrabartolo - Plain Jane Fat Ass lyrics

IVY Hey Romeo...you coming? JASON In a sec... NADIA Congratulations, Romeo! Dad'll be excited JASON Yeah, I'm looking forward to that conversation... NADIA Now, don't forget that behind every great man Is a dimwitted sister who just wants to be fed Nurse! Who knew? I thought for sure I'd get Peasant Number 8... Or Jolly Spinstress Number 3 JASON I know you have more confidence in your acting than that NADIA Oh, I do NADIA I know a girl full of confidence Yes, whenever she's full, she's a confident girl She'll have your piece of pie Then inhale another ten There's a thin girl inside her with twelve of her friends Hips that could bear you a buffalo JASON Longhorn? NADIA -Ass thats so vast, I could block out the sun JASON You know that you're insane NADIA I'm a caution for the vain Mothers say 'Well, dear, there's fat, then there's Jane' Plain Jane fat a** Guilty of swallowing Jenny Craig whole Plain Jane fat a** Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role JASON Why are you so hard on yourself? NADIA Why are you such an overachiever? BOTH Meh... JASON Dad... NADIA Mom... JASON Nadia, it's just that I know you'd be happier NADIA Okay, kiddo, I didn't spend thousand of dollars on private golf lessons So you could quit the team soph*more year JASON It's mind over matter... NADIA ...If you keep your mind focused JASON We just want you to be happy... NADIA ...To make us happy But why can't the fat girl play Juliet? It's the plumpest of roles, so then why not pick me? JASON It's just a stupid show NADIA Says the dashing Romeo Well, I've played a servant for years in a row But I'll have the last laugh, you bet your a** Hurt me? You can't! I have mounds of thick skin Beating high school doesn't last, and someday, I have a hunch That I'll eat them for breakfast and sh** them for lunch Plain Jane fat a** Hungry for love, she's a sensitive soul Plain Jane fat a** Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role Dad's birthday package arrived Two weeks late as usual Here's your birthday check Financial proof that Dad loves ya And oh, surprise! A note 'Dear Jason Please find enclosed This very thick package that came for you yesterday I talked to Father Flynn, and he told me you were in But call anyway when you open it...' Notre Dame 'We always knew that you'd keep the McConnell flame burning Love, Dad' JASON Hey, what did Dad get you? NADIA You mean what did Dad's secretary get me? These earrings I think they're slimming... What do you think? JASON Come here