Dallas Wayne - If That's Country lyrics

Well, you've called my kinfolk trash all their lives And I'm a chip off the heap, ask any one of my ex-wives I'm a social drinker, and I stay social all I can I'm a deer-snuffin', chain-smokin', simple kinda southern man First you gut our farms, strip-mall all the five-and-dimes Then you tax our so-called sins, call our pleasures a crime Now you're turnin' our music into some strange elevator noise Think it's time for us to win one back for the good ol' boys You can paint stripes on a billy goat/call it a tiger if it floats your boat You can make a star of a teenage girl But one million dollars won't make her Merle Laser beams, navel rings, and a pretty face might be something But you can kiss my Ozark a**, if that's country There's a certain song that's got my local station stuck It's got a steel guitar, and I believe it mentions a truck But the singer don't sound like he ever worked a stick shift Sounds more like bad Phil Collins with a hick facelift Now I ain't denyin' them suburban moms their fun But don't you try to tell me it's the way hank wanted it done You better keep your money-grubbin' hands off the poor man's song And make sure Chris Gaines stays the hell offa my front lawn You can take an ear from a barnyard sow/milk it 'til it turns into a cash cow You can lead a chick to a watering-hole But you can't make her drink 'til she gets white soul Might be rock, might be schlock, might be the Beatles or monkeys But you can kiss my Ozark a**, if that's country