Crooked I - Gangsta's Cry lyrics

So many memories I don't understand They got me weak in the knees like I don't wanna stand I try to snap back like a rubberband But flashbacks got another plan To bury this rap cat under land My closest aunt fell victim to a mad man He rapped her he stabbed her he through her in the trash can In Tulsa Oklahoma da home of the GAP ban they buried Charlene boomie My biggest rap fan I cant express how much I miss the time I spent with you God why they have to k** my mamas twin sister Niqqa you lucky cops sent you to jail Cuz I was comin to send you to hell After my choppers wings split you I was jus a shorty when my cousin Bobby died A star runnin back from Long Beaches probably high His friend and his wife set off the drama right He caught them in bed which let to his homicide Right on his d**h bed prepared to die He wrote a song for his wife The title That's Not A Far Goodbye Cuz goddamn is not a fair goodbye Young or not Guns I woulda popped for you Where was i? I cant forget my Aunt Zeb Since you left I been missin you And I will til my last breath Why do so many loved ones have to meet a fast d**h They wanted me to succeed how can I half step? Look up in the sky, tears in my eyes Its hard to say goodbye even gangstas cry Im in a dark room talkin to pictures Too many loved ones lost and I miss ya god knows that I miss ya And even though im strong, now that your gone Its hard to carry on even Gangstas cry Late at night I get lost in the Scriptures Wish I could dig off in your coffin and get ya I miss ya I put my pain on paper Theres nothing else I can do to remove it My music is therapeutic if I don't use it I lose it Its so easy to pick up liquor and abuse it When life is confusing you on a way that you need to view sh** I look at my gun and think of my buddies Leak and Bloody Cuz this is the same demon that took my people from me A lot of my homies was k**ed over illegal money I lost so many to bangin dat it aint even funny Its Cookie, its Ramon, its Charles, too many to name Its solemn and shane, its pain in memories lane It's a shame when obituaries stack thicker than dictionaries I question is my mind mentally sane My uncle LeRoy is gone, god let em in, he was more of a father figure than His brother ever been Look at my brain its like the head of a veteran I fight more pain than Excedrin medicine ever did I cant sleep my nightmares are comin unannounced I dream about people I love cuz im runnin elf Is rap lyrics my therapy they don't wanna bounce Its trapped spirits im thinkin my minds a haunted house Sometimes I pray to my creator til my knees hurt I need work, my granny use to say I need church This is for my people beneath dirt We makin songs gettin tattoos and rockin Rest In peace t-shirts Look up in the sky, tears in my eyes Its hard to say goodbye even gangstas cry Im in a dark room talkin to pictures Too many loved ones lost and I miss ya god knows that I miss ya And even though im strong, now that your gone Its hard to carry on even Gangstas cry Late at night I get lost in the Scriptures Wish I could dig off in your coffin and get ya I miss ya