Crooked I - Funkmaster Flex Freestyle lyrics

[Royce da 5'9] When you kick a bar you spit somethin' that no one's feelin' When I kick a bar I'm outside of the strip club belligerent drunk Kickin' the bricks on the buildin', uh You ain't seen no sicker, no iller chump Fly girl magnet, I'm infectious; if I have it, your girl has it This verse is Earv Magic Nobody cares about you swervin' your Mercedes and your OG's Who used to do some murders in the 80's My will is the bark, well My will is barking chicks I turn around like my wheel is parallel parking Aside from liquor I don't got many habits So You should tell your American girl To stay away from me like Lenny Kravitz Y'all either falling off or barely hanging on My chicks pants looks like Shawty Lo's hairline: painted on If you don't like me, so what,; I could fight, what That ain't no punchline, I can fight To all the s**er punching this is a s**er punch I snuff you from behind, punk, uff you frontin' Thank me later If there's war on my block call me Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor Cause you won't see the face of my neighbor Housegang, Shady, we ain't Wu-Tang This is the player circle, and I'm wearing two chains Go against me, oppose God This snub barrel lookin' like the .357 just got a nose job Detroit, the world feel us We call the murder appeal ya We call the burner a thriller We call tequila quitila, steal you like a B&E Every rapper claim to be a mixture of BIG and Pac; I'ma mixture of me & me My EMG reads GV and TNT And you can find me twisted on E and E on TMZ Or pa**ed out the couch on Media Takeout Not carin' what y'all sayin' Lettin' my balls hang [Joe Budden] Some dudes drink away the pain, I think of ways to gain And it happens so naturally you think it's preordained Straight from Lyor's Reign, escape from that ball and chain Couldn't tell if I was in it for the long haul or fame, wait See, I'm layin' low on the island I been learned that saying no is a talent Jokers want beef but keepin' up is a challenge Can't tell if I'm tryna get even or find a balance But I'm much closer, I won't front Broads love it, so sober but so blunt A charming a**hole, want him all the same Tell him I feel the ice as its forming in my veins Chasin' the high so much that we both hurtin' To the point it ain't even about the other person So we even, I'm in love with her rear and where I would be And she in love with the idea of what I could be On top of the world but desire to fall But what's the point of dreamin' big if you acquired it all But if lyricism is back, we helped it spearhead If we orderin' CL's make mine a year ahead I skip the club line and don't get turned around So girls come at a high volume I don't turn them down No pregnant broads and no minors, A1 bars with Em as a co-signer I hit j**eler without checking the cost yet I ain't rich my dude, but peep the way I offset Don't be confused by the Bentleys and the Corvettes Got stories from my hood that'll rival those of war vets Jersey City helped ‘em mold to what I amounted to My only beef is that they don't hold itself accountable so A few resent me, but I'm cool with it They handed me the city before I knew what to do with it [Crooked I] My strap spark at exact targets I'm snatchin' up black markets You whack artists should target your rap argot I keep my ice chunky, condos in wine country You know my spine hungry, that mean I'm back starvin' Back with the tax-fraudin' Illegal stash in the backyard And I'm plantin' my cash garden while the crack harden I might creep through your quiet house I'll tie your spouse down by the couch pullin' the iron out While she hidin' out, she don't know where the money's hidin' out Gimme the money before I put this iron snout in your lyin' mouth I am out my mind when it come to filling up my accounts with fly amounts Might buy an ounce, flip it to get it Cause I am bout that life my G My gun unload, I live by another code My desirin' the globe You thinkin' that you born to be the ish Cause you fell out your mother's other hole Hail Mother, uh uh, no You don't think that Crooked I's hot Why not, is it cause my Maybach's in your blind spot I sleep with one eye open like an insomnia-stricken Cyclops Cause I could rest in that pine box I'm on so many drinks don't even count em So high I fall up some stairs instead of down em So high call that American Airline Flex put us on to tear up his airtime You not a legend like John, move back like his embarra**ing hairline Let the heir to the chair shine Throughout ugliness, the Slaughter's there with me It's all Lovie Smith, my team Bear with me Still I'm feeling like an organ donor So many people dying to get a part of me Like I was born with a rare kidney But come and get me, I leave you down under somewhere in Sydney A different kind of chopper, I'm still airlifting See my momma named me Dominick That's synonymous with ominous I'm in this game to show you what drama is I'm in this game to conquer it Genghis Khan in this monstrous entourage What challenger can dodge my barrage Look at the DuPont registry: that's my garage Convertible Beamer paint blacker than Amistad Hear the engine noise, I'm ballin' with different toys and Still I rap like Kool G when he was spittin' poison My pen game is sick: call it penicillin Since sky's the limit, this the flow that could k** a ceiling You guys are gimmicks, hide your women Crooked's into Virginia drillin' The realest women they feel the villain I'm fill 'em with big pimpin', even virgins I lose a leg: I throw a shoe on my third one Look how easy the words come I'm the West Coast savior Why you think they yellin' church when the verse done? Speakin' of church, I'm from the city where sinners dwell Sinister LBC, I came to give ‘em Hell I'm judgin' day, I'm judgin' all you infidels Sippin' Zinfandel, my liquor be off the Richter Scale I'm here to intercept mics like I gotta pick from Vick in the NFL Live Flamboyant until I'm Big as L And on that T.R.H.O…ahhhhh [Joell Ortiz] New York you have now tuned in to the four illest Lyricist on the planet moving for-ward I foresee our forthcoming album less than four months You been forewarned so make room on the forefront And me I'm the YAOWA of the wrecking crew Speak to your feet if I'm who you thinking 'bout stepping to Cuz I ain't only nice with the flow I'm nice toe to toe blood'll fly out your nose If you wonder why your ho looking Like a seamstress from Bed-Stuy I'm sew Brooklyn She like the way I lace up the macs The sag on the trues and shake through the snaps And if I ever scrape it's a wrap She'll be dripping like a fountain no mountain just breaking her back Speaking of beating I'm a ape on the track You in the jungle with bananas placed on your hat If you rhyme it ain't safe for you scrap Unless it's an old Biggie verse don't put Faith in your raps I'm in the spot doing my hammer dance Like New York's Mom on Flavor of Love you don't stand a chance Everybody with me be waitng to dump Your homie imitating Flex they faking the funk Cooper Projects what up y'all Yeah I'll be at the next poker game with a buck y'all Damn right I still be's in the trenches I'm hood I can fall asleep on the benches I'm not a rap dude I'm a dude who rap Before this man, y'all saw the cypher Whole awards was hyper I'm just looking at the game is bad Cause I'm board and I'm running out of ways to brag How many times I said I'm nicer than Or I'm better than much harder or way more clever than Armed and sick I'm such a veteran Man I'm about to make ringtone rap and watch my cheddar spin Cause when you're too nice you're underground That's funny cause Eminem gave me money for not dumbing down Dummies bet you dumb-out off our dumb sales Or how the name spread like dum-dum shells And if you wanna know why hating is dumb, well For one thing I'm underneath 110 dumbbells Shorty I'll knock your head off your collar bone Snap your spine play your ribs like a xylophone Don't mind me I'm just on one Not d** I mean a mic and when I'm on this I'm gone son I don't know where I go but I am not here Shorty giving me Chewbacca I'm rubbing her Spock ears Beam me up like a good blast; spaced out we come back y'all in hood cla** Pay attention it's an A if you thoro Be real with your click Don't let me C you with the D's cause that's a F if you snitch Wanna graduate with honors co*k back and spray The llama at your drama Let your hard work slap your baby mamma In the face, in the face of defeat yo I always find a way to win I'm Tim Tebow I can't quit I'm too proud with a big ego Royce told me I'mma go Hollywood He right, cause I'm gon see all the nonbelievers and be like HAHa vroom vroom vroom goodnight And pull off in a sick (Fe)rrari All you see is paper plates like a kid's party And a thick Barbie I'm one quarter of the Slaughterhouse But all alone I'm four quarters of New York and what its all about If you on the Island bang on your cell If you want the streets wildin dog you bang for Joell Y A O W A I'mma tell everybody in the world the proper way it gets spelled I ain't going no where so get use to me If you can't stomach me cool go ahead and puke from me I don't give a f** though truthfully I'm so stuck being a booth bully Polo tucked under my Guc' hoody We all God's kids, but I'm a chosen one He took his time with me he said "I'm almost done" I just wanna make his brain murder And add a little more down there So when he stroke he can go way further She bonein' me cause you can't hurt her You ain't got nathan on my frankfurter I'm a good MC might go to Guitar Center cop a good MP And find a good loop Hit the drum pad And rhyme as hard as my biological son's dad Wow, SMH-LMAO Y'all gotta be JK do I say what I say yo I can mirically whip up a hundred like Mayo When I'm just trying to shoot for 50 Tony Yayo [Royce Da 5'9] Now Ryan's wit is electric like appliances Now let the iron fist wreck ya, I insist I'm here to tap some draws, tap some jaws Ballin', as for y'all I'm here to palm the whole globe like a basketball They told me I was gold; I ain't react at all I'm staying hungry like Em while these ho's act in awe F money but tell the government give me some since they print it I'mma schizophrenic, mental clinic, pencil penning Pimp lieutenant living the life in which if you flinch you in it Quit your pretending you here to be saved I'm simple-y sent to be sinnin' Your minds on bitter your vibes on Twitter Check my file my resume is verified on Twitter Your jeans got a coochie under it I'll hang up sign that says your place With a arrow pointin' down and put you under it I been a vet reppin' since Eminem's test record And it was better then any of our enemie's best efforts And it was just us then, we been the best bet den We stay on top of our green like vinaigrette dressing I gotta right hand, it's Debo cold Run into me playin' and end up with Steve-O's nose I will leave you where you riffin' at, yelling take that While I click-and-clack two guns that I nicknamed This and That I play the tune of violence for hours with the same gun That Nas used in I Gave You Power, Rewind - listen back The damn drum'll leave you in the can with your Samsung Can put a foot in your mouth, without a damn tongue You plus one on the list at the club With your boy don't give you the right to challenge a pro, you And1 I don't got no story All I know is I'm quick to pop and put that boy In a hole turn his body to a suppository While y'all hard I'm rolling alone I get your broad pregnant then I pay to abort it with a card over the phone [Joe Budden] I predict the top MC's taking a dive this year When that album drop how they gon survive this year See New York and New Jersey being live this year With my Knicks beating Miami in five this year I be thinking bout how far dude came sitting courtside Beat trial with my Co-D on the courtside Porshe fly tell the naysayers let the thought die Hat low bloggers tend to watch him with a hawk eye Spit from the heart and the listeners incline To believe that I can't be one of a kind Cuz to say that would insist this kind of realness existed before my time So the circumstance is different for this prisoner of the mind Where there's currupt CO's barely touch C-Notes Cuffs and keyholes inflating voluptuous egos Bars can't hold me and the judge can't control me Unlimited tobacco now who got the rollies Get froggy but I'm not the guy at all It'll be occupy the funeral occupy the morgue Catch him off guard he sleep when a k**er walk in 2 shots mussled by feathers now he pillow talking Brave move tryin' test my resolve with no grind Come Showtime I'm like Dexter to y'all Just based off what I'm hearing from the rest of New York Quite honestly I should be the best by default But rappers are sensitve so the tension is felt They let me list on the shelf I'm supposed to mention myself So all I think about while I'm inching to wealth Is how's Tyler, The Creator when I keep reinventing myself Keep my name outta rumors I really use to hear a lot Left a model got models trying to get near the spot But I treat girls like gang members, think I care or not If she got no body, I don't wanna see a tear drop No Barbie's just Jessica Rabbits Gave her the best pipe ever and she deaded her Rabbit Don't care that she's anti socical My Darren Sproiles boo she do what the last Bush was supposed to They don't like me cuz I be where the dykes be I ain't with the game so I catch em on a bye week Get it more bars more torture The game needed change so Em gave em 4 quarters Watch how we generate watch who you implicate Dissing me is only gon instigate goons that would love to let the Inf spray Put them young boys in your bathroom Be mindfull of what your Penn State He should know he got no wins beefing No hype for his career he got no ends meeting Truck is a 0 12 I ain't low end speeding Exterior's eggnog Joey so in season Copy collect weapons as a hobby, in your lobby they gon probably Think I'm crazy if I end up with a body Think I'm off course cause standing over the corpse Without cause screaming "This was only supposed to be a robbery" Yeah Joey, undisputed man in Jers' If you understand words with talent you can't curb But come and see him if you looking for that tan work Know about my prices out in Denver even Sam Hurd Joey, Jersey whattup [Crooked I] You never picture me clicking with Brooklyn's merge In the Murder Mitten when you heard him spittin' You didn't know that the world was getting an introduction to pure destruction A circle with murderous verbal writtens or serving sentences of all bars 2012's all ours, the Chuck Taylor crew I'm talking All-Stars You add Eminem, our hits are the hardest Turn DJ's to MMA fighters when they mix Marshall's artists You y'all ain't messing with the garbage You ain't F-ing with that Dodger hat, unless your name Mr. Marcus I lift ya carca** and if you listen to this ill spit in your whip Then I bet it get you carsick This Long Beach everyday y'all I'm saying Free Tray Deee I'm saying R.I.P. Nate Dogg I'm just a slaughter rider waiting for you in that same basement That Biggie Smalls had your daughter tied up Waiting for that snitches car to drive up He come inside and die, I hop in his whip and turn The Carter 5 up I mean The Carter 4 I paint any town red that's the Art Of War I'll buss you in any city this not a tour I tax you I'm not an auditor either or I'm at you And it ain't no other mobsters we a mix between Tyra Banks and energy drinks fore-headed Monster [Joell Ortiz] I was gonna rhyme but forget it, this too wicked You know I'm the G.O.A.T. y'all I'm just kidding I'm a wizard when my wrist spinning So New York (86) eighty-sixed Dwight Gooden in the 5th inning Mojo like HoJo bumping 3rd Ba** in a fo' door Droping your ho home though As far as homes go quit junior Stop bloggin' before I dance on your Noggin like Nick Jr Let your mans talk some sh** to you I run New York and I don't go joggin' without the fifth Ruger Pop sh** you get pop quick Papi pop up popsicle cool Then POP like a squashed zit Y'all ain't got the fever y'all just car sick I put your number 1 Ceasar in arm pit I pull strings like a quitar riff You pull strings from Polly-O chesse please you harmless Come here let me read you palm It say anyone who tries Ortiz is promise a gruesome d**h Dude's the best hacksaw my calves off I wouldn't lose a step So yeah play nuts like sprem I never keep and I burn you Then I will earn you like a check Have your new album turn into a ca**ette Then make the price go down per ca**ette like a Percoset This beat ain't even murdered yet But man it's taking a beating like Ike when Tina Turner left I usually ain't this co*ky but a lot of ends It's made me more co*ky like a body cleanse Now all my mami's muy bien when they body bend I lift they Red Sox then I slide the Big Papi in I probably got my joint licked in every lobby in Brooklyn They ain't looking like my balls too también I'm a fly fella, I might stop mid verse book a flight And write the rest in La Bella I'm always gone, my homies call me Mr. November You running round telling stories Mr. Novella And it's looking like a cold winter Slaughterhouse just remember, diss a member you get dismembered I hope yall got something to spit about Hip-hop's a over-packed club and Marshall and them will get em out Yeah wait but I ain't done though nah this is fun yo Beye sshe blah blah blah blah blah That's my speaking in tounges flow Beye sshe blah blah la alal alal a While that's be eating her buns though Bumpin' H-Town like a Bun show I'm a Superfreak run hoe Before I take a R. Kelly super duper leak one your done toes Sometimes when they lay out the beat, I just play yall can see But it's mythology you ever say yall was me Cuz yall only get it cracking I get Kraken like I came out the sea I laugh when you say y'all compete Cuz y'all like parapalegic meat, ain't hard to beat Fam trust me y'all can't touch me I let my Penn State that to all you Sandusky's