Cretin - Uncle Percy lyrics

Retarded Uncle Percy lives At his sister's place Her children help clean up his mess While she is away One day he hugged the family dog Tighter than he should Then dragged the dead thing by its leash Around the neighborhood Grieving in the cemetery Where they bury pets Uncle Percy yelps and barks Not understanding d**h He tries to cheer the children up He hates to see them cry His simple ways just make things worse Percy wonders why He plans to resurrect the pet Dig it from the ground Present them with their faithful friend Their decomposing hound He finds his way back to the grave Very late that night Digs up the dog and skins it with His rusty pocketknife Stab into the rotting beast and strip it of its pelt Double-knotting shoelace strings, he ties it to himself Dropping down onto all fours, he hopes they can pretend This naked, bloody cretin is their favorite furry friend Wearing dog skin like a mask, he lumbers through the yard He chases birds and squirrels and toys – a growling, yelping tard He scratches at the children's window, hoping they will play Horrified, the children scream and scare Percy away